an unpossible ladies' magazine

Image of the Week: completely unimpressed edition

This week’s image is more like a visual representation of how I’m feeling right now. This week has not been the greatest.

It was not my best week at work. While I did extend my tentacles into a new project in a different arena that will allow me to use some of my skills, I made some tactical blunders on the personal side. Being in a terrible mood all week did not help.

The terrible mood stemmed from my eating window experiement this week. In fact, the experiment has been so awful that I’m not even extending it for a full 7 day week. I’m cutting it short today.

Moving my window has made me irritable and tired (even though I’ve been sleeping more), caused me to resent mornings, caused a huge upheaval in my guts, and created a huge scheduling problem with my workout schedule. And for what? No real gains.

I’d rather be in a good mood and eat at 8 pm than be cranky and irritable and think that eating breakfast makes me a better person.

Night owl status confirmed.

Virginia Woolf ran a publishing house and it’s inspiring AF

When Virginia Woolf was around my age, she convinced her husband to buy a dog, a house, and a printing press. (I have to find a husband before I can convince him of such things, but nobody said we had to do this in the same order.) What started out as a hobby, and a way to dodge harsh criticism from mainstream publishers but still put out books, ended up as a legit publishing house that ran for 30 years and published people like TS Eliot and Sigmund Freud. (And of course Virginia herself.)

Leonard Woolf said that one of the reasons for the success of the Hogarth Press was that they had no overheads. The printing was done in their home, they didn’t pay themselves for their time and any profit they made was always reinvested.

Sounds a lot like running a blog, actually.

I saw some of their early products today. They’re not fancy. The later books were, with dust jackets and cleanly-designed covers. But the early ones? They were simply bound with stitches, with covers printed on colored stock or fabric. Some were really tiny, pocket-book sized (pamphlets, really) while others were normal-book sized.

As their confidence grew, the Woolfs started to sell their books by subscription. They compiled two lists of subscribers, group A, those who would buy all the Hogarth Press publications, and group B, who could be notified of new publications and would then select the titles they wanted.

A subscription model you say? Like, I don’t know, an email list? Gee. I don’t have an email list yet, but perhaps it’s time to start.

Certainly I don’t agree with most of the politics of Virginia and Leonard–and I definitely will not pattern my death after her–but I am absolutely delighted to learn about their press and how they grew it from a tiny little baby into something that had legs and made money and published actual legit works.

Lessons we learn

  1. You absolutely can be an author and publisher at the same time
  2. It’s okay to start small selling to your friends
  3. Don’t be afraid to scale up when the time comes
  4. Always keep track of why you started doing it in the first place

NCT will fight U

NCT U is back y’all.

Honestly? I’m not that into it. It reminds me a little of the pre-debut test Bassbot, but without the musical or choreographic interest.

The Eastern Bloc-inspired uniforms and Ukrainian architecture can stay, but everything else can slide on by.


That doesn’t mean we can’t have some NCT appreciation. Or is it analysis?

Boss sounds like an NCT 127 track, but has the delicate task of debuting two new members. Hence it being a U song.

Like NCT 127’s Limitless, Boss is a rather unsubtle statement of NCT’s goals. The meme behind “limitless” was simultaneously the number of members in NCT, but also drilling the idea for limitless potential into the heads of the members. Same with Cherry Bomb: I’m the biggest hit on the stage.

In a behind-the-scenes video for Boss, Mark talked about how the video starts with all the members fighting over who’s boss, and ends with them realizing that they’re a team. I get the teambuilding exercise, but is it really the greatest idea to meme a fight between Taeyong and Mark into existence when a new members are lurking?

Oh, wait, I forgot this is SM Entertainment. Of course it makes sense to pit all of them against each other, especially as we’re bringing in new members. It’s basically a thematic representation of how some of us feel about the new members.

The Boss video features Lucas the Usurper, who is apparently a 3rd rapper in the NCT crew. Lucas was probably supposed to be the leader of group that would have included Kun and Jungwoo, plus others from the auditions. I wonder if SM wasn’t getting good auditioners? I wish we knew more about the sudden switch to NCT EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE.

Anyway, I’m not endeared to Lucas. He is direct competition for my boy Mark. I am not one of those all-inclusive fans. I want Mark to win, always. Just keeping it real, folks.

Jungwoo has a nice voice. He can stay.


On the style front, let’s appreciate the return of NC-TURTLENECK.

Thank you, Jaehyun, for your contribution.

Knowing Thyself

It’s funny, that what you can admit so readily to yourself becomes irritating when someone else points it out in you.

Kind of like how you can make fun of your brother to his face, but the minute someone else does, you’re all up in theirs.

I took a personality inventory over the weekend, and–when I think about it objectively–it really wasn’t much of a surprise.

But it’s never fun being told you’re not that agreeable.

Even though

  • Your favorite part of music is the counterpoint
  • You do your best work after you hit the “forget you” mentality
  • There are few people in the world you call friends
  • You’re fine with having contrary opinions in a group
  • Trolls and tricksters are reliably your favorite characters
  • You say “no” straight up (most of the time) instead of deflecting

I also consider myself incredibly polite, but I have to acknowledge that I have to work hard at it.

It’s also a distinct possibility that my low agreeableness is what allows me to be interested in art and creativity, but also fairly right-leaning in my thinking.

There are plusses and there are minuses.

(It makes dating extra difficult, though.)



It’s self-experiment time! Changing my eating window

For years, I’ve naturally gravitated to the French-style dinner. It has been normal for me to eat my evening meal at 8:00 pm–or sometimes even later–since I started managing my own meals.

That’s over a decade, if you’re counting.

As I’ve started to put together the parallels between my physicality and my personality, I’ve noticed that one of my less-helpful habits is my tendency to start slow and build to a huge frenzy of work under pressure.

This is probably a great structure for a novel, but my daily life doesn’t need that type of stress.

So I’m changing the way I eat.

Instead of eating no breakfast, a decent lunch, and a huge dinner, I’m eating a legit breakfast, and a big lunch. No dinner. (I’m also deliberately doing some intermittent fasting because I need to lose some fat.) All completely carnivorous, of course.

This means that not only can I not lollygag in bed before work, because I need to eat breakfast, my guts get a nice long break overnight to rest and heal. Supposedly we lose fat in our sleep, too, and I’m hoping that being nice and fasted during a nice, long, uninterrupted sleep will help with that.

Demolishing the food bad habit and the lay-in-bed bad habit (oh I didn’t mention that one?) in one fell swoop. I stopped eating cheese, too.

So far so good, with the exception of some heartburn at about hour 6 of digestion for both breakfast and lunch. Hopefully that will go away as my body adjusts to its new digesting times; if it doesn’t I’ll definitely have to reassess. Heartburn is no bueno.

I’m giving this a one-week trial period.


Update: This experiment ended after 5 days. Not worth it. 

Giving up cheese was a good call, though.

Infodump: the new link roundup

Or should we call it link roulette? Maybe I should replace one of the links with a rickroll or one of my favorite cute goat videos.

I can pretend that this is some curated, thoughtful list, but let’s call it what it is: leftover articles that are cluttering up my tabs.

And an image, one of the most beautiful illuminated letters I have ever seen.

Detail from The Book of Durrow

“Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping”

I used to eat for myself.

Then I started eating because of my disease. For my guts, I guess.

Then I started eating for my gut bacteria. Or rather, eating against my gut bacteria.

Now, I’m wondering if that isn’t all wrong and I should be caring for my mitochondria more than I care for myself.

One of the things I love most about this universe is how the micro and the macro tend to mirror each other. It makes it a lot easier to spot patterns, and for someone like me who has a takes somewhat of a metaphorical approach to science, it’s incredibly useful to aid understanding.

I’m reminded of the battle for mitochondrial existence in Madeline L’Engle’s A Wind in the Door; the state of our mitochondria is not merely an indicator or driver of health–it is a battle of eternal cosmic significance.

(Can you tell I’ve been reading 12 Rules for Life this morning?)

It can be very difficult to do things “just because” (even though you know they’re right) or “just for me” (because, who am I to ask for anything? In the grand scheme of the universe, I am nothing).

But thinking about mitochondria, the tiny beings inside of me–however sentient or not–that are dependent upon me for survival, and how what I do directly affects their universe, and that their functioning rightly directly impacts mine….well, that’s another story.

I’m realizing that the true point of embarking on this visualization journey I’m on is to get all my body’s processes in harmony, starting with my digestive organs all doing their dance in order with optimal timing.

Part of that will be strengthening intracellular signalling so that these organs know what the beat is, so they can dance.

Turns out mitochondria play a big role in cell signalling.

Sick, weak mitochondria will lead to weak signalling and possible miscommunications. I don’t want that, I’m sure my cells don’t want that. Strong communication is good for all parties involved.

So, how do I help my mitochondria become strong?

Basically, make life challenging for cells:

I was hoping to avoid cold showers again but it looks like that’s not going to happen!




Image of the week: Portrait of the President as a bush edition

Is this some sort of elaborate “globalist elite” joke? Are we going to find out next week that Bush and Obama are secretly the same person?


It’s art–however absurd–and I want to start exploring more about creative achievement on this blog. Absurdity has been on my mind this week.

It’s a prime example of “one of these things is not like the others,” which was done to great effect during Obama’s campaign for president but that didn’t work out quite so well for him afterward.

And looking at that portrait of JFK, it is absolutely possible to stand out–in a good way–without taking a shit all over history.

Fighting back against absurdity

I am growing tired of playing defense against the absurdity that surrounds me at my day job. I have turned my mind on how to play offense.

Instead of playing rational and reasonable all the time, which will never win against complete insanity. In fact, being predictable and steady could be a complete LOSS, because people can use that against you or take advantage of it. So (tactically, at least) there’s benefit in adding some chaos to the mix.

This is coming from a few places. Trump’s advice to always start negotiations with something really off the wall and irrational, to create an anchor that brands you as predictable. Vox Day’s reflections on how conservatives will never change. And an academic’s observations that many universities are postmodern or anarchic institutions, which run mostly on symbolism and are post-structure. (OMG, 7 years after I got a master’s degree in this stuff, I finally understand the meaning of poststructuralism #fail)

Scott Adams’ persuasion filter could apply here–and indeed, one of the management techniques described by a book about academic management sounds identical to it. I’ll have to find that and post it sometime.

I’m going to work on being more unpredictable in my behavior–to a point, I still want to get things done–but I’m also exploring options for other ways to go on the offense.

First up: how I dress.

Clothes are easy to change, require very little strategy, and have a huge impact on confidence levels. My confidence in my outfits often mirrors (or dictates) my confidence for the day.

Plus, they’re a visual statement of who you are as a person (to some degree). First impressions, and all that.

I’m thinking about elements that I can add to an otherwise university-appropriate outfit that would make someone sit back and say “that doesn’t make any sense.”

Nothing big. Nothing that would read as crazy. Just normal clothes that make you say IDGI.

  • Mismatched earrings
  • Really weird socks (although that’s a style thing now so don’t know if it would be worth it)
  • Sequins or another fabric that really doesn’t make sense for the office
  • A piece of jewelry clearly worn upside down
  • Shoes that really don’t go
  • A color that is super out-of-place

Is this the right idea? I don’t know.

Will it work? I hope so, but we’ll see.

I’m just really tired of always being on the receiving end of this stuff where it’s contingent on my energy and time to deal with it.

I’m ready to fight fire with fire, even if it’s only a symbolic battle in my own head.

A Valentine’s Limerick

I am the type of person who will celebrate Valentine’s day as a single person, but who has no desire to celebrate it in a relationship.


Valentine’s day is a cheesy fake holiday, so what is better than to cheesily celebrate love than a day like this? I get this honestly, as my mom always used to “celebrate” by putting up random conversation heart-style decorations for us to find and doing something fun like heart-shaped pancakes.

In a relationship, it would be better to celebrate days that actually mean something, like anniversaries and suchlike. Things that are specific to the two of you.


This valentine’s day I wrote you a limerick.

Young Sasquatch was truly besotted
So a verse to true love he allotted
(Ahem) “Roses are blue
and red violets too….”
But alas, our Sasquatch was boycotted

You’re welcome…. thank you…. and goodnight.

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