Excuse me, coming through, the most tantalizing of all hair ideals is about to plop in front of you:

Right? I, too, would like to be tan and blonde and Australian with perfect hair that keeps itself tied up.

Anyway, I’ve been trying out the “no-poo” method for a while now. Here’s a secret: there’s really no method. Some people use herbs, some use clay-based shampoos, some use oils, or baking soda and vinegar…and some just use water.

I’m currently on the soda/vinegar stage. My last attempt with clay was not successful–for whatever reason the clay just made my hair feel greasier. Then I would try to rinse with apple cider vinegar to feel a bit better, and it got worse not better. I’ll pass.

Because my diet is getting simpler–animal products–and will soon get even simpler than that–meat and water only, I see no reason not to make my haircare routine simple as well. I splurged on some products to make this “no-poo” thing work, but now I’m using cough-inducing amounts of dry shampoo in between washings to keep things looking clean, and adding all sorts of texture-adding products. Which, of course, require washing out.

I want something simple that makes my hair look the best.

Which leads us back to the perfect blonde hair in the video. I clicked on that one because she has a similar hair texture to me. I’ll never be blonde without a massive intervention of peroxide, but by gum maybe I can have perfect Australian hair.

I’m just going to dive right in to this crazy idea of washing my hair with water only. I’ve ordered a wooden comb to distribute the natural oils, and honestly I don’t want to look back.

Maybe by the time the NequalsMany study is over, my hair will have adapted!