Update: This is a freeking HOAX. The Ann Coulter tidbit is real, though. Skip down if you don’t want fake news.

The “Hitler Youth” haircut has been popular for YEARS now. I first remember becoming aware of it with Macklemore circa 2011 and distinctly remember a roommate of mine making the joke about his newly shorn hair in 2014. In those years, it managed to stay in the realm of “fashion trend,” not “political statement.”

Apparently that bubble is now over, thanks to the mainstream media beating the public sentiment into a rabid froth over Nazis.

Witt says he’d just pulled in to the parking lot of the Steak ’n Shake in Sheridan, Colo., and was opening his car door.

“All I hear is, ‘Are you one of them neo-Nazis?’ as this dude is swinging a knife up over my car door at me,” he said.

“I threw my hands up and once the knife kind of hit, I dived back into my car and shut the door and watched him run off west, behind my car.

“The dude was actually aiming for my head,” he added.

This is Joshua Witt and his haircut. It’s somewhat of a variation on the typical version, which tends to leave the sides buzzed, not completely shaved. The top is usually left longer, too, to add some pomade and do a vintage-inspired swoop.

Regardless, if guys with this type of haircut are getting stabbed, 25% of the population of Portland, Oregon better watch out.

He’s navy, so he probably has the posture of a military man–I’m sure that added to it. Antifa and the Alt-Left tend to slouch and give in to gravity. Men with muscles and discipline tend to stand out next to them (for good reason!).

The sad part about this is what’s the solution? The only thing he can do to his hair is go shorter, or buzz it all off. That leaves him with…the skinhead look. Hardly better than Hitler Youth.

We’re terrifyingly close to “your skin is your uniform.” What a world, y’all.

***

In other news, West Hollywood jewelry merchant House of Fisher shouted all over Instagram about outfitting Ann Coulter with some fantastic earrings for a recent TV appearance. Looks like Ann has a longtime relationship with House of Fisher.

This is refreshing, since typical fashion people make a point to distance themselves from non-MSM-approved media figures. (See also: all the virtue signalling about refusing to dress Melania.)

Here’s the real question: wow long will it take Givenchy to disavow?