reality is weirder than you think

Tag: hair (page 1 of 2)

Orange Clown Genius

Continuing a long line of convenient convergences throughout the Trump campaign, the 1-year anniversary of God Emperor Trump’s ascension just happens to fall during the rise of #ReleasetheMemo.

I think we’ve all been reminiscing a little about the past year, and all the victories–big and little–that have been won.

(We’re still not tired.)

The FISA/wiretapping situation is on the front burner again, and people are starting to connect some dots.

Here’s a thread over on r/The_Donald that caught my eye this afternoon:

The deep state was attacking Trump thinking he didn’t know he was being spied on. He knew and to think he didn’t put a show on for them is probably a poor gamble. He’s been playing them while tweeting in a way that would make Sun Tsu proud.

  • This explains how ‘everyone’ got it so wrong. They were listening to everything, and he was putting on a show for them.
    • The man has a star on Hollywood Blvd for Christ’s sake.
      • He’s like, literally an accredited actor
        • And a very stable genius!
          • And a WWE hall of famer!
            • This is the biggest part. McMahon coached the Donald how to “work” and probably helped come up with the character The Donald. This whole thing is a work on the deep state. From the fake tan to the eccentric character.

I’ve held the opinion for a long time that Trump’s hair is a deliberate caricature, a tool that he uses for many different purposes. (I’m working on a post that explains this in more detail.)

I knew that the overly-orange tan, the over-the-top hair, and the overly-New York behavior was something that he did for effect. It wasn’t necessarily his “natural” way of being.

Even the aesthetic of his logo (bold and strong) and the interior decoration in his buildings (a caricature of “rich” style) seem calculated for visual persuasion effect.

What I did not keep in mind was how much of the “Donald J Trump” we know is a character. Like, a deliberately designed and acted character. I figured DJT just acted out of instinct, in the moment. Improv, like in wrestling.

This is probably true, to a degree.

But if we keep in mind that he knew he was wiretapped and was doing things behind the scenes also to build his character, that means the whole thing is part of a lot bigger plan.

Imagine DJT and his team walking into an office that they knew was hot, talking about the weather or real estate. Then DJT gives the nod, and they launch into a conversation about how “Oh no, our polls are down, how will we ever recover” or some such nonsense. Never scripted, but according to plan.

Donald J Trump has taken a WWE wrestling character and made him the President of the United States of America.

When I was 12, the hot topic of conversation was whether the WWE was real or scripted. Well, folks, we have our answer.

WWE is indeed real.

Appreciation post

Lately I’ve noticed some sour thoughts sprout up in my mind.

“I hate people.”

“Why do I do this? It’s absurd.”

“Coffee tables are stupid and ugly.”

It’s easy to get caught up in a spiral of negativity. I’ve noticed myself doing so more and more.

This is not the life I want to live.

So to counteract, I’m going to appreciate some things:



How can you forget how delicious steak is? Apparently I can. I made myself steak tonight for the first time in many months. It was delicious. I’m partial to NY Strips, because I like the fat/lean ratio.

(Don’t ask me about my cast iron pan, though. They come with a learning curve that I haven’t quite mastered.)


Jordan B Peterson

Our favorite Canadian professor absolutely owned his recent interview with Channel 4 News.

Talk about the IQ/communication gap in action. Obviously she’s not dumb, but she paddles around in the shallow pool of word-thinking while Peterson is plying her with logical arguments and abstract reasoning.

Even if you know Peterson’s arguments front and back, it’s worth watching his delivery. Unflappable, friendly, on the offense. Beautiful. I aspire to this level of mastery.



My recent foray into the needle arts has reminded me about the crack-level addiction that comes with embroidery floss colors. You go to the fabric store, and stand before an entire wall of pure, unadulterated color. And usually it’s in gradients, gradually morphing in hue and shade. I want them all.


The Donald Trump chia head that is sprouting in my dining nook

One of the delightful parts of moving is finding all sorts of things, packing them, and then finding them again when you unpack. I had totally forgotten about the Donald Trump chia head that I bought sometime in 2016 but had never sprouted.

Our God Emperor deserves the best of chia hair. I’ll post a photo when it’s sprouted.

Image of the week: Super Saiyan Trump edition

At this point, I’m pretty sure everyone younger than Gen X who is on the internet knows Dragon Ball Z.

Even if you don’t know anything about Dragon Ball Z, trust me, you know about Dragon Ball Z.

Just try to look at this picture and not think “SUPER SAIYAN TRUMP.”

I mean, the photoshop helps a lot. But you know what I mean.

Trump Derangement Syndrome means never having to look too hard for a meme.


Do they really not realize that this type of thing just gives him more power? The more that the hair is exalted, the more power he gets.

Maybe not physical power, but memetic power.

I really need to write that post on Donald Trump’s hair.

I have a confession to make

I’m back on shampoo.

I know, I know.

It’s weird having such clean hair.

But with the move and the monthlong period of being a nomad, and all the newness coming at me (I’m not good at “new” even when I ask for it), something was bound give.

It wasn’t going to be my carnivorous diet, for dang sure.

It also turns out that hard water + unwashed hair equals a sticky mess. (Seriously. It was gross.)

So what gave was the “no washing with shampoo” routine.

Even with a crunchy seaweed-based shampoo, I don’t love how my hair feels. It’s so dry and sad.

Eventually, as I settle in, I’ll figure out what I want to do next. I can get a filtered showerhead, or rinse my hair with vinegar to counteract the minerals, or stick with shampoo but add a pH-balancing scalp treatment.

In the meantime, I’m a normal-haired person again.


A scalp observation

Two months into my no-shampoo adventure, my scalp started feeling pretty healthy. (Especially after I started using a great hairbrush.) Rather than feeling like there was a bunch of grime building up on my hair, my hair started to feel smooth and soft. My scalp has felt more healthy, without weird scaly bits or random sores that used to pop up now and again. It’s been pretty cool feeling my scalp normalize and heal over the course of time.

Sure my hair still looked a bit greasy at the end of the day, but that’s nothing I can’t handle.

But then I decided to get a haircut.

Haircuts typically come with a shampoo, and this was no exception.

Now I’m dealing with a couple different scratchy scaly sore patches on my scalp.


I doubt it.

No-Poo for fine hair (secrets revealed!)

I’ve finally figured out the key to a no-shampoo lifestyle with fine hair.

My hair is not especially fine, but it’s very delicate and there’s a deceptive amount of it. This fact is what has led me to a low-maintenance hair lifestyle, because when I start to calculate the effort/impact effects of 40 – 60 minutes curling my hair (only to have it fall flat an hour later no matter what products I use), it’s not worth it.

That delightful feature has also presented a problem in my determination to go absolutely shampoo-free (and everything-free), since my hair shows every single last living drop of oil that’s been spilt on it.

Naturally, there’s an adjustment period for your scalp to rebalance and stop over-producing sebum to compensate from the stripping that happens with modern shampoos. I countered for that by wearing my hair up in tiny buns, and braids, and cute hairstyles like that.

But there comes a time when a girl just wants to let her hair fly free.

After a few weeks, I started wearing my hair down again. On any given day, it might look pretty good after its morning rinse, but by about 3 o’clock it started looking pretty ragged and oily again. Not a cute look.

Then I realized that I needed to be doing more to distribute the sebum down the shaft of my hair. If I’m not going to remove it (with shampoo), I need to disburse it. And where else is it going to go but down my hair?

Last week I bought this boar-bristle hairbrush to do just that. So far it’s been the best investment I’ve made in my hair for years.

  1. The extra nylon bristles scratch lightly against my scalp when I brush my hair, loosening dandruff flakes (that get whisked away by the boar bristles) and stimulating bloodflow to my scalp. It feels incredibly good. You don’t need one of those stupid looking scalp stimulators when you just brush your hair.
  2. The boar bristles really do help to distribute the sebum and oils down the length of my hair. For a few days it looked pretty gross, but after about a week I’ve done enough brushing that the sebum rinses off easily in the shower. Today is the first day that my hair feels lightweight again, and this is day 6 of brushing.
  3. My hairbrush came with a brush cleaner to help remove hair that gets caught in the bristles, and a cute little bag to keep it clean on trips. Already used both of them, both of them are Batfort approved.

Plus, haircare is now a pleasurable activity. I keep my brush handy in my room and brush my hair while watching a Korean drama or reading an article online.

The only downside I’ve seen so far is that my hair is a little frizzier than normal. Hopefully that will calm down as brushing becomes the routine and the sebum settles into a new equilibrium, but we’ll have to wait and see.

As for now, I see myself continuing this no-poo journey into the future.

A Magnificent Moustache

I don’t have much to say tonight, so let’s all admire Edward Elgar’s moustache.

Apparently the proper American spelling is “mustache.” I had no idea.



Salad Days

It’s one of those days. You know what I mean. It wasn’t a bad day, but nothing went quite as planned. I’m a little discombobulated and a lot tired, sitting at my desk. It’s 11:52 pm. I’m eating prosciutto out of the carton and have no idea what to write.

Solution: I’ll name this post “salad days,” after the chapters in L.M. Montgomery books in which she strung together a bunch of journal entries from one of her heroines in order to signify time passing and convey a lot of small, random life updates.

Without further ado:

  • Today marks the end of my 3rd month eating only animal products. Moving forward, I need to continue to whittle out dairy and see what happens. Interesting side note: I had previously thought that I was eating too much fat in general, but it may be that I was eating too much cheese in general. Sad for me, because I love cheese, but probably good for my insides.
  • Not sure what day we’re on for the water-only washing method, but my hair is adapting nicely. I’ve been rinsing nearly every morning in the shower, and some days I can wear my hair down all day. The key is to comb out my hair every night before bed. I’m taking a page from someone on YouTube and bought some Orange Blossom Water (she used rosewater; I’m happy with the Orange Blossom because it has an element of bitterness to balance out the floral perfume) to spray on my hair and make it smell delicious. That’s one downside of not using haircare products: nothing goes in your hair to make it smell nice.
  • I’ve made steps toward a motivated mastermind group. Plans (real, live, executable plans) are in the works. This is probably why I didn’t sleep so well last night. My mind was too busy planning. In related news, sleep remains the most difficult thing to get in my quest for health.
  • This artwork for the making-of version of Taeyang’s White Night album:

Stabbed for a haircut, plus Ann Coulter wears earrings

Update: This is a freeking HOAX. The Ann Coulter tidbit is real, though. Skip down if you don’t want fake news.

The “Hitler Youth” haircut has been popular for YEARS now. I first remember becoming aware of it with Macklemore circa 2011 and distinctly remember a roommate of mine making the joke about his newly shorn hair in 2014. In those years, it managed to stay in the realm of “fashion trend,” not “political statement.”

Apparently that bubble is now over, thanks to the mainstream media beating the public sentiment into a rabid froth over Nazis.

Witt says he’d just pulled in to the parking lot of the Steak ’n Shake in Sheridan, Colo., and was opening his car door.

“All I hear is, ‘Are you one of them neo-Nazis?’ as this dude is swinging a knife up over my car door at me,” he said.

“I threw my hands up and once the knife kind of hit, I dived back into my car and shut the door and watched him run off west, behind my car.

“The dude was actually aiming for my head,” he added.

This is Joshua Witt and his haircut. It’s somewhat of a variation on the typical version, which tends to leave the sides buzzed, not completely shaved. The top is usually left longer, too, to add some pomade and do a vintage-inspired swoop.

Regardless, if guys with this type of haircut are getting stabbed, 25% of the population of Portland, Oregon better watch out.

He’s navy, so he probably has the posture of a military man–I’m sure that added to it. Antifa and the Alt-Left tend to slouch and give in to gravity. Men with muscles and discipline tend to stand out next to them (for good reason!).

The sad part about this is what’s the solution? The only thing he can do to his hair is go shorter, or buzz it all off. That leaves him with…the skinhead look. Hardly better than Hitler Youth.

We’re terrifyingly close to “your skin is your uniform.” What a world, y’all.


In other news, West Hollywood jewelry merchant House of Fisher shouted all over Instagram about outfitting Ann Coulter with some fantastic earrings for a recent TV appearance. Looks like Ann has a longtime relationship with House of Fisher.

This is refreshing, since typical fashion people make a point to distance themselves from non-MSM-approved media figures. (See also: all the virtue signalling about refusing to dress Melania.)

HOUSE of FISHER in West Hollywood, from PARIS has ANN COULTER in GIVENCHY gold geometric earrings while on the VARNEY & CO. TV show today, 8/17/17 discussing all the unrest going on today, especially in Charlottesville. ANN COULTER is pretty, intelligent and a political analyst on FOX NEWS, SEAN HANNITY, BILL MAHER and other shows. Read her new book "IN TRUMP WE TRUST" – E Pluribus Awesome! Author of eleven New York Times bestsellers.This lawyer is on point during public speaking engagements while wearing these GIVENCHY earrings or one of the other 5 pairs of earrings from PARIS she had personally purchased at HOUSE of FISHER for her on air debates. Even our jewelry is politically correct. Be camera ready for the when you make your grand entrances around town to captivate your audience. Remember #BlingLivesMatter Fantasie bijoux from PARIS available at HOUSE of FISHER. Tres Recherché n'est pas? #givenchy #anncoulter #love #hannity #foxnews #trump #houseoffisher #antifa #politics #gold #earrings #pretty #glamorous #vintagejewelry #paris #french #fashion #igers #instagood #instafollow #instagramers #picoftheday #photooftheday #followme #follow #me #dope #swag #westhollywood

A post shared by David Fisher-HOUSE of FISHER (@houseoffisher) on


Here’s the real question: wow long will it take Givenchy to disavow?

More mullets

More evidence for the return of the mullet has presented itself–in the wild! And in the US, not Korea!

This ad for a fake cheese product is running in the August 2017 issue of Real Simple magazine. I’m sure that it’s in other magazines, too.

The tagline is “cheesier than ever.”

Things this ad has going for it (and by “it,” I mean the mullet):

  • Attractive man wearing the mullet
  • Delightfully cheesy content
  • Gets you to think ahead to August 7th aka International Mullet Day
  • Decent biceps

Things that this ad takes away from the memeing of the popularity of the mullet:

  • Too much 80s theme–takes it out of TODAY or THE NEAR FUTURE aka WHEN THE MULLET SHOULD BE POPULAR
  • Fake cheese (surprisingly not soy)
  • The hairstyling is flat and uninteresting
  • Aimed at the mom demographic*

*Although I suppose if you get the mom demographic screaming over something, it’s officially entrenched in the public’s consciousness (see also: Twi-Moms).

It’s not like mullets have ever really gone away from the public eye, but they are a convenient shorthand for a lot of people to refer to backwards hicks, or dated behavior. Stuff that can’t keep up sufficiently with the progress of modernism.

A modern non-dairy -gluten -soy company choosing to depict itself (however humorously) with a Mullet Man is — I am choosing to believe — a sign that the mullet has run fully circle in the irony mill and is now biding its time to reenter the public arena of hairstyles as a legitimate style.

That is, of course, assuming that mullets themselves are sentient in some capacity.

You know it’s true.

Older posts

© 2018 Batfort

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑