It’s always hard to go back to real life after “one of those days.”

Or if we want to get really twisty about it, I always seem to have “one of those days” after having “one of those days.”

Or if we want to get concrete but cryptic, I really should add “being outside” to my list of my ideal work environment. Not doing outdoor work, per se, but just being outside. A porch is fine, no need to get fancy about it.

What really happened is this: over the weekend my car broke down while I was on a trip for the weekend. As such, I couldn’t get back to work on Monday, but instead spent a bunch of time cleaning said car and arranging for repairs and talking with my brother about various things. The weather just so happened to be freeking gorgeous, as well, so I spent some quality time in the sunshine.

After days like these, days when I can taste freedom, coming back to reality oops there goes gravity* is absolutely excruciating.

Workplace politics. Beige boxes. Pointless meetings. Staring at a computer screen all day, and a computer screen that has to be somewhat professional which means that photos of k-pop groups or stupid memes are OUT as desktop backgrounds and even an Edward Gorey illustration is probably verging on too edgy.

I want to do work with the option of going outside, with the option of wearing shorts, with the option of blasting music as loud as I want to.

This is motivation. This is what I want to run toward, and leave the office life behind. This is where I want to steer my life, toward sunlight and freedom and the terrible arbitrary choices that we must make in the world when we aren’t beholden to a cultural superstructure.

Those days remind me how much I don’t get out of these days. I am capable of more and I will do more.

We’ve all heard that story a million times, but the good thing about stories is that they never run out and everybody’s got one.

*I really shouldn’t quote Eminem in the current year but sometimes I can’t help myself.