Okay, first of all we need to discuss my current setup. Obviously, I’m traveling, and I decided that this trip I only wanted to bring one bag–my backpack. Because the work laptop was needed, I jettisoned my personal laptop and brought along an iPad mini and borrowed a Bluetooth keyboard for it. So I’m typing this with a keyboard on my lap, with my mini propped up on a pillow so far down the couch that I can barely read the words I write. This is entirely unnecessary, but gratifying in an “IT’S MY LIFE DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” kind of way.

Secondly, the surroundings. For whatever reason, this conference I’m at was planned at a fancier-than-usual venue, so I’m the sole occupant of a king room with a legit sitting room, a dressing room, and then a bathroom. It is a ridiculous amount of room for a hotel for one person (pretty sure it’s bigger than at least 3 of my past rentals) but I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. There’s a proper desk, and a wingback chair, and black and white photos on the walls.

This level of semi-luxury is above my pay grade at the moment But since I’m here, I’m going to take the time to try on this life for size. Despite having to be at the conference for most of the workday (which I already spend mostly at work, so whatever) I’m going to live my life this week as if I”m already making money online and working from wherever I want. Writing here, there, and everywhere, setting my own schedule, being my weird carnivore self.

I’m at the point in life where I know how much endurance it takes to level up, so I appreciate having this little taste while I’m still on the front end.

However, that brings me to my main beef with this whole setup. When I say it’s above my pay grade, it’s literally above my pay grade. I would never pay for this amount of room in my real life. Fortunately for me, I have enough in savings to supplement myself while I subsidize my employer paying for this hotel room, because otherwise I would bounce my rent payment that’s due to go through tomorrow.

Of all the things that are semi-degrading that we’re asked to do as employees, getting reimbursed for mandatory travel is one of the worst. I understand it risk-wise and financially (this is my first work trip but Ive done travel reimbursements a bunch of times in various jobs). Like, I get it. The employee needs some skin in the game to not spend too much on a company trip.

But to me, this reveals a fundamental disrespect. I’m basically fronting my own employer the cash for this trip. If they wat this to, they can decide to not reimburse anything for the trip. And then what? I’m completely SOL.

Add this to the growing pile of sticks of reasons why I don’t want to be an employee anymore. Pretty soon something will set the match on fire and then we’ll have a bonfire. By that time, I hope to have a system of making money in places that is not dependent on my employer at all.

Basically, part of me wants to Don Draper away from this conference and not look back. Maybe I won’t ed up in California, but it’ll still be pretty cool.