Back when I first started this blog, I made a list of ways that I could prove to myself that I could be a good boss. This is a personal list, tailored specifically to me and my own personal failings.

You see, somewhere along the line, I realized that in order to work for yourself, one must be both BOSS and EMPLOYEE. One must to figure out the work to be done, and then do the work.

If I never behaved in the manner of a good boss, I could never hope to trust myself enough to start a business on my own.

I want to eventually work for myself, so I decided to see if I could become the kind of person who could leader herself (and eventually others) effectively.

About a year ago—as I had forgotten about the original list—I checked back in. I was doing okay, and certainly made strides in some areas, but nothing spectacular.

I was reminded of this list again recently. Let’s see how I stack up.

  • Set up a (big) project, plan it out, and complete it within a deadline
    • Done. July 2018.
  • Clean my room, Jordan B Peterson style
    • 8/10. There is still some clutter to banish and closets to organize, but I am comfortable having people over on short notice. For me, that might as well be 10/10 but let’s not lose sight of reality.
  • Address my resentment of tracking time, and start using time to my advantage
    • In the past year, I have realized that this is a futile way of looking at things. I am a task-oriented person, not a time-oriented person. I now view my life as a series of open and closed loops. When I set an intention, I open a loop. My goal is to close the loop as quickly as possible, or work diligently at the sub-goals to close it—if it’s a large problem. Immediately working on a task that is available to me is 100% easier than fretting about some mythical ideal of time usage.
  • Stick to a consistent sleep time and wake time
    • 5:45 am wake up for the past month. Bedtime is still variable.
  • Continue to publish a blog post every day until we hit a year
    • Done.
  • Work out consistently
    • This one I’m either consistently ON or consistently OFF. I got back in the gym last week, and hope to be ON for a while. Going to the gym is kind of tiresome, so once my membership runs out I may go back to Naiman workouts on my living room floor.
  • Get out of bed immediately upon rising, instead of languishing in the half-asleep/half-awake stage that I love so much (this will legit be a sacrifice)
    • Done. 
  • Design a daily schedule for myself that incorporates all the projects that I plan to complete, along with the self-care that my chronic illness demands, and stick to it
    • I’m less concerned with designing a perfect schedule and more concerned with getting things done. Since I’ve added much more to my life—socially and side-projects—since last year, my schedule shifts but it’s the tasks that matter.
  • Finish the Self-Authoring suite
    • I’m no longer interested in this, as I have discovered JBP to be unhelpful at best. However, I have launched a project to write my memoir which has been much more helpful than “Past Authoring,” which didn’t even scratch the surface.
  • Complete a plan for my future, with action steps and deadlines
    • This one is more like building the tracks out in front of the train, but it’s happening.
  • Sell a product online that people buy on a consistent basis while still employed full time by someone else
    • Working on this right now, with another idea in the hopper.
  • Tackle the reading list that I’ve had in my mind for years
    • Reading more, yes. Reading that list, no.
  • Define what success means to me
    • Dwelling next to running water with moss and rainbows, and nobody to dictate to me how to spend my time or my efforts or my words. Doing  good work to lay at the feet of the Almighty at the end of days.

 

Out of 13 shots, I give myself 8 wins. 66%. Those are some pretty big strides in a year. It’s true that I’ve had a tremendous amount of growth, of pushing myself and rebirth. I almost don’t recognize myself from a year ago, even though my goals and personality are largely the same.

There are things that have surprised me—like this blog. Going from “one post every day for a year” to the growth I see now has completely astonished me. I never realized that being diligent will actually pay off.

If I want to be my own boss, it now looks like I’m going to have to draft some new criteria. More focused criteria. Criteria that has numbers and targets and goals.

Or maybe I’ll make a new list, of ways to prove to myself that I could be a wife.