Yesterday I wrote about psychic headspace, and why it’s important to get some breathing space inside your own head.
Today, I realized that the person I talk most about is my boss.
How do we demonstrate that something (or someone) is important to us?
We talk about them.
Yikes.
Let’s back up a little.
Many moons ago, when Twilight was cool and hating Twilight was even cooler, I was what you could call a Twilight anti-fan. I LOVED hating on it. The storyline was bad. The characters weren’t well drawn. The writing was awkward. The author had clearly done only a cursory bit of research into life in the Pacific Northwest. The fans were obnoxious and/or horrifying. The list goes on.
In fact, I loved hating on it so much that I made bingo cards to make fun of the overly zealous fans on opening night. Once I packed a vampire-themed picnic to smuggle into a Twilight triple showing, including a champagne cocktail called the “Vampire’s Kiss” (talk about obnoxious!). I used the bingo cards that I made…at a midnight showing.
Basically: I paid money to watch all the movies (in my defense I only bought the first novel). I knew all the books and characters. I had long drawn-out fantheories on obscure parts of the books.
It didn’t matter what my motivations were–out of love for the franchise or love-to-hate of the franchise–I still supported the moves, talked to people about it, and spent my free time thinking about those dang sparkly vampires.
The brutal truth: I was a Twilight fan.
Like it or not, what we do is what matters in life. What we do reflects our hearts.
Which brings me back to today, when I found myself talking about my boss. Again. To people with whom I could talk about nearly anything in the world.
Yet I chose to talk about my boss.
My boss was on my mind. My boss was what I wanted to spend my time and energy on. The way I’m acting sure does make it look like my boss is the most important person in my life.
If I rank-ordered the people in my life who I find most important emotionally, would my boss be on the top of that list? Of course not. So I don’t want to spend any more of my life emotionally processing boss-related things than I have to, clearly.
To change this, I need to fill my life with people that I give more emotional weight than my boss. For me, in my present circumstances, that means meeting more new people and deepening my relationship with God.
Yet if I rank-order my life in terms of people who have power over me, my boss suddenly rockets toward the top of the list. Which suggests to me that there is, automatically, some amount of attention that I’ll need to pay this power relationship in my life.
The trick is not letting the emotional bit overpower the work-related necessities.
To change this particular situation, I’ll eventually have to quit my job. Until that happens, my boss will always have power over me (even if I don’t let it get to me emotionally).
Fortunately for me, this is just more fuel to the fire of working for myself.
Onward and upward, my friends.
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