Growing the Future – Page 7

Category: Growing the Future (page 7 of 8)

General inflammation vs. localized inflammation

Generalized inflammation is useless. Usually, pain provides enough useful information to be worth the trouble, but non-localized stress is exactly the opposite. It masks problems. Because it’s not specific, it doesn’t tell you anything useful about what is wrong or what might be causing the stress. It bogs down normal inflammation, and because it makes systems less efficient, causes much more work for the rest of the body.

Localized, acute inflammation — on the other hand — is a fantastic tool. It can lead you to what is wrong, and indicates that your body is working hard on that problem. Localized inflammation is your friend.

Life is kind of like that, too. Lots of low-level, incomprehensible stress is muy no bueno. You can never get a foothold in solving problems of that magnitude.

Specific issues, however, are much easier to identify, parse, and solve one step at a time. This approach is much more painful, and rarely fun, but it’s way more effective in the long run.

It all has to come to a head.

If you have to make a pro/con list you’re trying too hard

2017-11-12 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

After months of looking and weeks of trying, I found an apartment today. One that I have the option to sign for 6 months, even though I’d be willing to go for a full year.

I sign the lease tomorrow.

How long did it take me to make that decision? About 10 minutes.

All the other places that I looked at are listed on a whiteboard in my Airbnb, pro-and-con’d within an inch of their lives.

This one has a great interior but the rent is really expensive. That one has the space that I’m looking for but the front window looks into the recycling center. This other one has a gas stove and beautiful light fixtures, but let’s be honest, it’s way more space than I need or could use.

If I narrowed the decision, and made it “that apartment versus keep looking for apartments,” the latter won every time.

None were the apartment that I wanted.

The decision to pick any of the was difficult.

Then I found “the one” (even though I don’t believe in “the one”).

Sure, this new one has an event center next door with unknown levels of partying, and a view that’s pretty terrible, and a busy street outside, but it had every other major thing I was looking for, plus a certain charm of its own. The kind of alchemy that reflects the “soul” of a space.

This decision? Easy.

Maybe it was the byproduct of having looked at so many options that I knew what was out there, what was worth jumping on, and what is realistically in my price range.

Maybe it was choice fatigue (but I doubt it).

Maybe this landlord was especially persuasive (he wasn’t).

This place was clearly the best.

The moral of this story is that pro/con lists are only useful when you have to make decisions between a bunch of sub-optimal choices.

When there’s one clear winner, you know it.

Don’t lie to yourself.

Go for it.

Strengths

2017-11-08 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

A few weeks ago I splurged, and in a fit of “I can do anything business is so great” feel-good rays, I bought the Strengths Finder book and assessment.

Funnily enough (#NoCoincidences), it was one of the books waiting in my new office, along with Mere Christianity.

I took the quiz under the influence of a strategic-project high, so I suspect the results are a bit more skewed to the heady intellectual side (or maybe I’m just more out of touch than I thought).

Anyhow, I’m hoping that writing them out will help me leverage these to bend my new job to my will and to fit my strengths, but also to put them to work accomplishing my other goals.

Here are my strengths:

Strategic
Learner
Intellection
Analytical
Ideation

In my normal overthinking style, I have a rebuttal. It occurs to me that my instinctual reaction to this list is basically…this list.

I certainly don’t feel strategic (but that really doesn’t mean anything)
This is true. I love to learn. I live to learn.
…guilty. I live in my head.
I think I’m fairly analytical, but I’m not as data-oriented as, say, most data analysts. I believe that data should inform, but not dictate. The logic, however, must be sound.
SHUT UP I LIKE IDEAS OKAY?

Maybe it’s not so wrong after all?

That said, it’s still just another filter on truth, and not Truth itself. A list of “strengths” is not the same as the mind, body, and spirit of me.

Clearly, to give my brain something to chew on, I need to get back into reading old books and keeping up on news. Finding an intellectual group of friends with which to have conversations would not, then, be an indulgence, but an essential opportunity for growth and development.

Meandering goals

2017-11-04 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Five years ago, I was on a high-powered biologic drug called Remicade. Remicade is extremely effective at blocking TNF-alpha, part of the signalling mechanism that causes inflammation. It’s also extremely, extremely expensive. The only way I could afford it (even with really good health insurance) was through a subsidization program run by the big pharma company that makes it. It was also magic for my chronic illness.

I had a dream that someday, maybe I could stop taking Remicade.

I thought that I was crazy for dreaming that dream. Seriously, it was difficult for me to fathom a way of living and managing my disease that would create a future where Remicade was unnecessary. Still, I had a goal.

It was a soft goal, not a SMART goal. I didn’t keep it in mind every single day, and it didn’t drive every decision that I made. Yet the idea of being free provided the fuel to move forward with exploring different options to take care of my health.

My specific goal wasn’t to get off Remicade, but I did want to explore the effect that diet had on my health.

My specific goal wasn’t to get off Remicade, but I did research and align myself with doctors who would be receptive to that kind of change in my treatment plan.

My specific goal wasn’t to get off Remicade, but I did pursue alternate theories to why my disease exists in the first place…

…which led me to discovering and treating Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth…

…which led to me getting off Remicade.

Rather than setting myself up against a specific objective with a deadline (which would have stressed me out, thereby triggering my illness and nullifying any attempt to be free of drugs #Catch22), I chose the path of obliquity.

This was completely inadvertent on my part, but it worked.

I have some goals now, new ones. Goals that seem absolutely, crazily unachievable. Goals that I’m not quite ready to speak in public.

Sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever happen.

Then I look back at my journey off Remicade, and realize that I’ve done it before. I can do it again. I just need to make the direction of the goal a priority, and pursue it doggedly.

Millennials like hard (copy) news

2017-10-22 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Now, I’d prefer the mainstream media to shrivel up and die at this point, but it seems that there’s been a un uptick in print subscriptions lately:

Dwayne Sheppard, the executive director of consumer marketing at Condé Nast, which owns the New Yorker, said that he’s also observed a sense of brand identification—but said that, for millennials, it extends beyond social media and into the real world. Those subscribing to the New Yorker can choose between a print and digital subscription or a less expensive digital-only option; Millennials, he said, are opting for print at a rate 10 percent higher than older demographics.

“Millennials are choosing print overwhelmingly, or digital and print,” he said. “It’s a physical manifestation of the relationship. You’re on the subway or you’re in the airport and you’re carrying your New Yorker, that’s another signal of what you care about and what you choose to read.”

Virtue signaling aside, it’s interesting to think about my generation’s relationship with the printed word. We’ve been swimming in digital medial nearly all our lives (as an old millennial, I used the internet occasionally in junior high and high school, and didn’t dive into it hardxcore until I was in college), and print always has held a certain allure.

You definitely see that in fashion magazines, with a thriving indie magazine market that is primarily print-based. Frankie, Kinfolk, Lula, The Gentlewoman, etc. You have to pay more per issue, certainly, but what you get is less Condé Nast-style product pushing and more thoughtful. Of course, that comes with a side of pretentiousness all its own, but nothing’s perfect.

I suspect that part of the motivation is a yearning to be connected to something with deeper roots than just the internet (I see it in myself also with my attraction to the liturgical church over the feels-based churches that have been workshopped to reach my generation), and print is a way to do that.

Regardless of how print and digital are intertwined, print-only feels like opting out of the system.

I’ve had a fascination for the printing press and “book arts” since I learned about them in my graphic design classes way back, and have daydreamed about what it would be like to put together a conservative (for college me, now would be alt) pamphlet-style publication and distribute it.

The rise of alt-media has felt like maybe that’s not necessary. But if deplatformings continue, maybe it will be.

I like the option we have of the online-based payment system with a print-based distribution system.

Overwhelmed

2017-10-19 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

I’m in the midst of a massive transition. Wrapping up an old job, getting started with a new one. Defragging my possessions and moving to a new town — with no place to live yet. (Not for lack of trying.) Living in the midst of chaos, as my two roommates are also packing up and moving out.

God has very clearly laid out the path, but it is surrounded with chaos and uncertainty and newness.

Today, I am feeling it. All of the tasks I feel I have to complete before I’m “allowed” (by whom?) to finish. All the things that I “should” (according to what?) do before I leave town. What is the “proper” way to sort, to clean, to pack?

There are two options: recalibrate, or distract. Focus, lean in, do the work. Writing this blog post is helping some, but I bet doing the work of packing will help even more. Forget should (one of my top 5 most-hated words) and just do. It doesn’t have to be right, just done.

Focus, and make it through.

A letter of resignation from a job I haven’t started yet

2017-10-18 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Dear Supreme Leader:

Effective immediately, I am resigning from my position in your illustrious department. While I am grateful that you hired me, and have grown tremendously in your employ (and to your service), it is time for me to move on.

You see, in my personal hours I have been madly cultivating my love of words and writing and have grown up a [consulting service / editing gig / bestselling novel series, whichever comes first] that is now demanding my full-time attention. This is a somewhat unexpected, but not unwelcome, turn of events and I am compelled to pursue it.

Yes, this is a huge change of life. Yes, it may all come crashing down around my years. But also yes, I must go.

Of course you can trust that I will work to help hire and train my replacement, but let’s get real, academic timing is so slow that I’ll be long gone before HR can approve the position. As such, I’ll make sure that my records are in order and will leave you with a tidy list of my responsibilities that you can divvy out as you see fit.

It has been a pleasure working with you, and I wish you and the team every blessing in the future.

Sincerely,

PS. I voted for Trump.

Creating the opportunity

2017-10-16 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

I learned something today, that I think will stick with me for a great long while.

I thought I was negotiating for a new job. Trusted associates were giving me advice, tips on what to ask for and how to ask for it. Different industries and types of businesses have different ways of doing things.

Money vs. time vs. flexibility — what’s most important?

Turns out that none of that mattered, because my supervisor pre-negotiated on my behalf.

While I’m not sad about the outcome, I do feel like I missed a crucial point of inflection for learning how to negotiate. Instead of giving me the opportunity to try and fail, or to fail to try, I was given the end result.

Now, I’m not ungrateful. Don’t get me wrong.

But I do question methods.

If the data suggests that women fail to negotiate more often, and that part of the so-called wage gap exists because failure-to-negotiate leads to a smaller base salary that leads to smaller percentage-based raises 10 or 20 years down the line, wouldn’t it also make sense that you would want to demonstrate to women that they can negotiate, and reinforce that behavior by rewarding it with a salary raise?

So set the stage. Grease the wheels a little bit. Maybe carve out a “yes” from the HR compensation people first, then wait for a girl to try to negotiate up and reward her.

Giving it up front teaches the lizard brain that we can just expect it in the future, and we absolutely cannot.

This method is harder to watch, because it requires risk and includes the possibility of failure, either to plan or to execute. But it also means real success at the end.

Create an environment where someone can succeed by setting an expectation, providing necessary resources, greasing the wheels if need be, and then stepping back to let her learn how to fly.

Artificial, a bit, but effective.

I want to learn how to lead people like that.

Not by doing things for them and expecting them to learn the lesson despite that fact. That’s how you create dependents, not independents.

Anna Wintour, BAMF

2017-10-08 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Down the rabbit hole of fashion again. I have such a love/hate view of Anna Wintour.

She’s the embodiment of much that I despise, one of the New York City elite who want to run the lives of everyone else in the country. As “pope” (some would say) of the fashion world, she sets the tone for much of what goes on in it. And of course, instead of staying in her lane, she is a huge donor to the democrat party and shills for the in the magazine. There’s footage of Huma Abedin getting hounded by reporters a few months back while she’s standing on a doorstep; when the door opens, it’s Anna. When Sarah Palin was still governor of Alaska, she was featured in the paged of Vogue which still shocks me to this day. Of course, she got maybe 1 or 2 columns and a small photo, whereas Hillary Clinton gets a full-length article and a double-page photo, but

Fashion is full of rabbity and left-wing people to begin with, but she condones the blatantly partisan behavior.

However, she’s an elegant woman at the top of her game. I admire how she commands respect and runs Vogue exactly how she wishes to (or at least that’s how it seems from the outside). Despite the fact that she seems to have a blind eye to the oblique way that most fashion trends grow (there’s a fun exchange between her and Bill Cunningham in Bill Cunningham’s New York where she acknowledges that they have diametrically different perspectives — he documented street style while she dictates from above), she exudes authority and does not apologize for who she is or the fact that she works in fashion.

While I don’t always love reading Vogue — it’s so very elitist — one cannot deny that it is a respected and influential publication.

So I feel that there’s a lot I can learn from her. Watching her interviews is incredibly inspiring. She’s well spoken, clearly an introvert, clearly intelligent, and she uses all that to her advantage. Perhaps the thing that resonates with me the most, and this is probably because I don’t feel this quality, is her philosophy on decisiveness.

“People respond well to someone who’s sure of what they want.”

This strategy is working out for her. In fact, you can see it in her magazine, both how she runs it and the soul of Vogue — the top down, “you should want this,” aspirational fantasy.

Even if Anna (and Vogue itself) can be cold, domineering, and out of reach — sometimes even completely decoupled from the real world — the decisiveness and authority that she exudes compels people to follow her.

Something to consider when crafting a public persona.

Other observations of note: a signature hairstyle is easily identifiable and hides much of her face, upping the intimidation factor; her clothing is always the same silhouette, recognizable and flattering and fewer decisions in the mornings; she does nothing to dispel the negative rumors; diversifying the Vogue brand beyond just the magazine, into digital and the Met Gala and all sorts of other things.

Ways I can prove to myself that I can be my own boss

2017-09-15 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

I feel like there’s a new genre of writing that has taken off in the past few years. It’s nonfiction, and yet the reward it provides is almost the same as a fairy tale.

I’m talking about all the self-employed, entrepreneur-ish books. I read a lot of them. You probably do too. Tim Ferriss. James Altucher. Tony Robbins. Even smaller names like Mike Cernovich.

It’s not even books–this type of content pops up on social media and youtube as well. All the vloggers and youtubers who support themselves off of their youtube income streams, or who showcase how they run their own lives through freelance work, direct sales, and youtube or patreon revenue. I’m thinking about the Casey Neistats and Frannerds of the world here–not just people who support themselves on youtube, but people who vlog about supporting themselves on youtube.

The subtext of all of these things is: you can too!

And maybe you can. Probably you can. You and I have just as much potential as most of these people. They’ve taken risks and figured out how to leverage the internets in a way that works for them (instead of destructive ways like crippling youtube addictions).

At the end of the day, though, these people make money selling the dream to you and me. They show us how they live the lives that they live. On the one hand, hey–it’s an instruction manual or guidebook or map or whatever. Showing us the way.

On the other, it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of voyeurism, of sitting back and watching these people out on the playing field. Maybe we should start a fantasy entrepreneur tournament.

I say “these people” like a pejorative, but I don’t mean it that way. I admire them, and envy them a little bit, and know that I could potentially maybe be one of them, but also equally know that the way I’m living my life right now will never get me there.

AJA Cortes reminded me of that tonight on twitter, with some cut-to-the-bone truth. He put into words a lot of my own feelings of being “stuck” along with exactly what I’ve done that’s gotten me to this place: lack of risk, seeking comfort, choosing a college degree that feels good and hoping that everything will work out.

Hope is NEVER a plan,

Assuming things will “just work out” is NOT a plan

“Something will come along” is NOT a plan

This is loser talk

The reliance on happenstance and fate and destiny somehow swinging in your favor,

Total bullshit.

Fortune favors PLANNING

Your degree is not a fucking plan,

“I’m sure it will work out” isn’t a plan

“I’ve got a good feeling about it” is NOT a plan

Why aren’t these things plans?

Because you are not taking ACTION on ANYTHING

Where’s the momentum? Where is the forward drive to create?

Hell, where’s the hustle and grind and all that cliched shit?

What’s the big picture you are actually working to create every day?

There isn’t one?

You’re relying on half luck and half mediocre skill and wishful thinking?

Stop bullshitting yourself.

I’ve reached the point where I can’t bullshit myself anymore. I am all too aware of the situation that I’ve gotten myself into (complacent job, no marriage prospects, very little creativity in my life, etc etc etc). This is not the life I dreamed for myself when I was a starry-eyed 12 year old.

And reading books about how “You can too!” doesn’t help the fact. Until I take action, it’s just more bullshit.

Right now, I know that I cannot work for myself or be my own boss or choose myself or anything like that. I know this because I know how lazy I am on my own, away from an employer with expectations of me. If I want to move toward any sort of second income stream or self-employment or freelance work or publishing my own novel, I need to learn how to manage myself.

So I’ve decided to draft a list of things I can do (ACTION) to prove to myself that I’m ready to strike out on my own.

Set up a (big) project, plan it out, and complete it within a deadline
Clean my room, Jordan B Peterson style
Address my resentment of tracking time, and start using time to my advantage
Stick to a consistent sleep time and wake time
Continue to publish a blog post every day until we hit a year
Work out consistently
Get out of bed immediately upon rising, instead of languishing in the half-asleep/half-awake stage that I love so much (this will legit be a sacrifice)
Design a daily schedule for myself that incorporates all the projects that I plan to complete, along with the self-care that my chronic illness demands, and stick to it
Finish the Self-Authoring suite
Complete a plan for my future, with action steps and deadlines
Sell a product online that people buy on a consistent basis while still employed full time by someone else
Tackle the reading list that I’ve had in my mind for years
Define what success means to me

Now, all of these things will not happen overnight. Tackling this list will take time, and self-discipline. A plan. Some of the very same things on this list that I feel I lack already. However, the things on this list create compound interest–once I’ve completed and/or maintain a substantial amount of them, I imagine that I’ll already be on the road to being more antifragile and self-sufficient.

The thing is, I must begin. Take action. DO IT.

I take comfort in the fact that doing it badly is better than doing it not at all. Doing it badly is the first step toward doing it well. Doing it badly is, frankly, still DOING.

One day at a time. One step at a time. One minute at a time.

Forward, into a brighter future.

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Batfort

Style reveals substance

Category: Growing the Future (page 7 of 8)

General inflammation vs. localized inflammation

If you have to make a pro/con list you’re trying too hard

Strengths

Meandering goals

Millennials like hard (copy) news

Overwhelmed

A letter of resignation from a job I haven’t started yet

Creating the opportunity

Anna Wintour, BAMF

Ways I can prove to myself that I can be my own boss

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