I’ve never really decided how I feel about Kanye West, but I do know that my opinion has changed over the years.

Typically I’m the kind of person who runs in the opposite direction of the “cool” stuff, so when I first heard of Kanye I was primed to dislike him. His superstardom coupled with the fact that I’m a suburban-raised non-black person meant that I never really felt comfortable with the idea of being a “Kanye fan.”

Anyway, after his openness on twitter this weekend, I thought it might be fun to go back to see what I used to think and how it’s evolved over the years.

@celeriac 11 Mar 2009
kanye west wore a canadian tuxedo on american idol tonight. i really hope he isn’t as much of a trendsetter as he thinks he is.

[Little did I know that I myself would don the Canadian tuxedo during much of the winter of 2013.]

@celeriac 20 Apr 2009
you guys, i am listening to kanye west and liking it. what is happening to me.

@celeriac 13 May 2009
today’s playlist: ukraine eurovision 2003 + mcr’s black parade + kanye’s heartless, eclectic? YES, I THINK SO.

@celeriac 14 Sep 2009
RT @KanyeWest YO PATRICK SWAYZE I KNO U JUST DIED AND ALL&IMA LET U FINISH BUT MICHAEL JACKSONS DEATH WAY BY FAR THE BEST ONE DISYEAR

@celeriac 22 Oct 2009
aww, twitter started explaining trending topics. and i thought they just wanted to let me know that kanye west is not dead.

Email 20 Jan 2011
Subject: mikeyway + unicorn
To: A group of friends (this was during the throes of my emo phase)
From: Me

I like a couple of Kanye’s songs, but the I AM THE GREATEST shtick he’s got going on really grates on my nerves, when I don’t think he’s the most hilarious thing ever. Sue me, I’m conflicted.

Blog post 27 Nov 2011
Subject: i am thankful for

» Inside jokes. Like the green ribbon, Gouda, my boyfriend Kanye West and Steinbeck/Hemingway tag team cage wrestling. <3

@celeriac 4 Feb 2013
the new FOB song sound kinda like their cover of a rihanna/kanye collaboration. #shrug #butitsstillcatchy

Email 20 May 2015
Subject: Kanye
To: Me
From: A friend

“I am a pop artist. So my medium is public opinion.”

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/stargazing_blog/2015/05/kanye-west-gets-an-honorary-doctorate.html

Email 21 Nov 2016
Subject: I am official concerned
To: A friend
From: Me

In other MK Ultra news, they took Kanye: https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5e8ju8/kanye_forcibly_hospitalised_against_his_will/
[…]
I’m a bit worked up over Kanye and I don’t even LIKE Kanye (but I appreciate him). Okay.

[Yes I went down the MK Ultra rabbit hole for a while. Haven’t we all?]

Email 4 Dec 2016
Subject: a sort of funny
To: Me
From: My mother
a post about Kanye West

So if he’s on his meds, he votes Hillary and if he’s off, he votes Trump. Sounds like America.

To: My mother
From: Me
I’m laughing, but I’m crying

@celeriac 22 Apr 2018
RT @neontaster If you had “Kanye West gets redpilled” in your 2018 predictions bingo card, congratulations.

In conclusion, Kanye West has been growing on me since 2009. WTF I LOVE KANYE NOW.

But for realsies, I’ve been ambivalent about Kanye for a long time. I’ve gradually grown to appreciate him as an artist, as one who is able and willing to be influential, and as a potential free thinker (which he confirmed this weekend).

It is immensely frustrating to be stuck in higher education, which is full of retirement sandtraps and golden chains and lockstep group think. But sometimes I think of someone like Kanye, who is not only his own dog, but who has proven his chops, who is in the middle of that pack of Kardashians AND submerged in the music industry. That makes my higher ed woes, especially as a low-profiler flyer, seem quite pale and insubstantial.

All power to him, and I hope he continues to fight the good fight.