Are you the type of person who writes “notes to self” on random pieces of paper? I am.

My past is littered with random back-of-envelopes, receipts, scraps of paper, pages torn out of magazines, and all sorts of other miscellaneous objects. I’m working on corralling all my random ideas in a bullet journal. Post-it notes are a step up for me—at least they’ll stick to something permanent.

I’m packing today, and pulled a treasure-trove of post-its off my fridge, where they have been for months and which I have not looked at since I put them up. Let’s find out what my past-self’s idea for self improvement was.

Take a week in the mountains to test drive your ideal life

I say I want to live on property with trees and mountains and a creek. But is that what I really want? Better to test it with an Airbnb than to go all-in with a huge loan and a bunch of property that I don’t actually want.

Make your home 200% you—functional and interesting to look at

One thing that I’ve always regretted from every placed I’ve lived is that I left it unfinished. There were always plans for what I could do with the space that I never carried out. Now it is true that these days I have 200% more energy than I used to, so it is time to turn that extra energy toward making a cohesive living space. The defining idea is me and my goals–healing, investigation, creativity, hospitality.

EXHAUST YOURSELF EVERY DAY

I often don’t want to go to sleep at night (case in point, I’m writing this post at a time when I should be in bed). Some nights, I can’t wait to go to sleep—usually those are after days of hard work or hiking, when I’m physically exhausted. My intellectual brain thinks that it would be a good idea to tire myself out more, either through physical work or through creative work. Not sure how sustainable this is, but it’s worth a try.

Working out 3x per week has certainly helped with this.

Practice drawing—do you want to do art, or not?

Some of the boxes I’m packing are full of art supplies. Sewing, embroidery, drawing, painting, printmaking, calligraphy. I like doing art, in theory. But I don’t make it an everyday practice. At some point in the past few months I set an absolutely insane goal of doing a gallery show of my own work in 2019. If I’m going to meet that, I need to get to work.

And if visual art isn’t something I should be doing, I should bid goodbye to my supplies. Buying art supplies is like buying crack, though.

Try eating only chicken, pork, and fish for a week

Though my health has improved considerably since my switch to an all-animal products diet, my body composition is not where I’d like it. I’m not fat, but I’m fatter than I’d like to be. Building muscle has helped, but I’m still dialing in a good meat/fat/fast ratio for my goals. One strategy would be to eat leaner meats for a while. (However, I’m considering putting myself back into ketosis.)

FINISH STRONG.

I’m good at starting things, and less good at finishing them. I have to push myself if I’m going to cross the finish line with dignity.

Weekly Sunday ritual (singing hymns, nature)

When one can’t (or won’t) find a suitable church, one starts to come up with all sorts of excuses and rationalizations for what one could be doing on a Sunday to center oneself on the Lord.

I know that no church is perfect, but its looking like my bar for “good enough” is too high.

Start collecting actual photos of what you want—dream board

A few online guru types have recommended this. Start an actual inspiration board for the life you want. This is one of those ideas that’s so obvious that it hurts, and yet it’s so obvious that I don’t want to do it. Maybe I need to do this before spending a week in an Airbnb in the woods.

What else do you do because it feels like “you have to”

Oftentimes when I socialize with people I get disillusioned. I’m often socializing with people because “it’s good for me” or because “It’s just something that you do,” rather than because I genuinely want to. I try to avoid those types of social interactions.

This is a boundary I want to set up in other areas of my life.

Do ballet again even if you’re fat

Back in the day, I started lifting weights because I wanted to get in shape enough to do an adult ballet class. Lo and behold, I’ve never reached an “in-shape enough” stage to feel comfortable doing ballet again. I took a class a few years ago, but had to quit when I got pneumonia. It’s time to try again.

Spend only the necessary time at day job

I’m a very task-oriented person, who tends not to focus as much on the clock as I do on what there is to do. As such, I can sometimes get distracted at work and forget to leave on time. If I want to succeed at my out-of-work pursuits, I have to spend time on them. That means leaving work on time.

This is a good list. It’s very much influenced by self-improvement Twitter, but it’s my list. I like that. It makes me want to put these into action.