I try to be as upfront in online dating situations as possible. Trump and helicopter rides figure prominently in my online dating profiles.

And yet.

Men…no, GUYS/SOY never read the profile, but they’re surprised when I tell them that I voted for Trump. That I’m a Christian. That I’m literally a carnivore no I don’t eat any vegetables, thanks.

I went on a date tonight. File this one under “should have known better.”

He would text me to ask how I was doing. I would answer, and return the question. He would answer, and ask me right back how I was doing. It felt like spiralling down a rabbit hole of recursion.

I still went out to dinner with him. File that under “should have known better” and being new in a small town. I honestly don’t think that I’ve been on a date with someone more opposite from me in my entire life.

• Berniebro, but voted for Hillary anyway (where is your self respect, man?)
• Gave this big speech about how you can believe what you want, religion-wise, but later in the evening decried freedom of vaccination
  • It seemed like it was a new idea to him that the world is fundamentally fallen/flawed/corrupted by sin, and that it will be utterly impossible for any human being to fix the world (from a Christian perspective)
• Thinks that in 10 years we’ll be able to wipe out an entire microbiome with antibiotics and replace it (I think we’ll be luck to have a good map of the microbiome in 10 years let alone antibiotics powerful enough to kill those buggers)
  • Like any devoted researcher, decried the idea of citizen science (it must be engineered to have the right effect, after all)
• Namechecked Plato with the AI singularity as his ideal philosopher king (I would have brought up the issue of AI veering alt-right….RIP Tay…but he didn’t let me get a word in edgewise)
• Did not let me finish when I tried to talk to him back about one of these things
• No questions about me. At all. Just a handwavy “what are you expecting to get out of this” with no actual question attached.
  • [Edit] My bad, he did ask me what I did for a living

Honestly, he’s probably on twitter right now complaining about how he went on this date with a brainwashed Christian anti-vaxxer.

I’m trying not to be too picky. I realize it will be a statistical anomaly if I get married at my age, especially with my views on the world. But good gracious I would rather be single forever than chain myself to a soyboy like that.

I’m filing this under “this might be funny,” because it might. If you look at it in a blacklight with a mirror.