ISince going carnivore, I order what I want at restaurants.

When I was on the “some plant foods are good but some are bad” diets, eating at restaurants always stressed me out. The waiter wouldn’t understand my request well enough to convey it to the chef. The chef wouldn’t care and would think I was being one of those attention-seeking people who follow whatever fad is going on. Everything might have nuts on it, or breading, or sugar, or whatever. There would be nothing on the menu in my “approved” categories.

Anxiety isn’t a good look.

I’d still eat out – I found a small group of restaurants that worked for me, and ate there almost exclusively. Burgers, pho, Mongolian grill, that type of thing.

But since going carnivore, I’ll eat anywhere. If they have a steak, or burgers, I’m there.

Sure, it was a little tough at first when I would try to be nice, order the whole plate of food, and eat around the veggies. (Don’t do that.)

And I’ve certainly run into a few places where they put extra stuff in the burger patties, like parsley or filler ingredients. (Literally that’s what they said: “It says ‘filler’ on the package.” No thanks.)

The trick is, I don’t worry about any of the sides or the vegetables. I scan the menu until I find the meat that I want to eat, and then I as the waitress something like “Hey, I’d like the ribeye. Is it possible to do just steak and salt? Nothing else on the plate.”

Most of the time, that works like a charm.

(Usually it comes out with some sort of garnish, though. It’s kind of sweet and funny how many kitchens can’t resist.)

If I’m out at a burger joint, the questions escalate from “Do you have all-beef patties?” to “Please just sell me plain patties, but stack up three of them like pancakes and put a piece of cheese (and/or slices of bacon) on top.”

Most of the time, they look at you kind of weird, but it still works.

Every once in a while there will be a place that focuses on sandwiches, or something else, and doesn’t provide a hunk-of-meat option on the menu. This is where negotiation skills come into play.

If you can see a dinner menu, look if there’s an option there, and then ask the waiter if he’ll check with the kitchen about prepping it early.

This approach takes the courage to push back against the social conventions of eating at a restaurant (YOU’LL EAT WHAT’S ON THE MENU, AND YOU’LL LIKE IT) so it may take some time to get used to, especially if you’re new to the pantheon offroad dietary choices. Negotiating with waiters is something you’ll get better at over time, and something that eventually you won’t think twice about.

I be polite but firm, mention that there’s a medical reason for the way I eat, and ask if they’ll “just check.” So far this method has been successful for me.

I’ve even gotten a restaurant manager to sell me a straight up pound of smoked pulled pork that they took out of the smoker an hour earlier. Completely off menu. We talked, agreed on a price, and went our merry ways. (And I made sure to tip well.)

Next up, I want to see if I can convince a BBQ pit to smoke me a thing or two without any rub.

THAT’s going to take some ninja-level persuasion.

In the meantime, my local grocery store smokes pork every Tuesday so I’m sitting pretty.