Batfort

Style reveals substance

Month: August 2018 (page 1 of 4)

I like

…how Kanye makes just as much of a splash IRL as he does on twitter. Man knows how to make an entrance.

Anyway, I don’t have any other new photos saved on my computer, so you’re getting this one this week. I think Kanye is up to the same things this week, only with bigger slides.

The styling on this is fascinating to me. My brain doesn’t want to consider them a matched set. Kim is bright and futuristic, while Kanye is dull and self-consciously minimalistic. Kim is the sexy sports car we know and love reconfigured for the future, while Kanye reminds us that he does all this despite or because of his bipolar disorder.

Both convey a sense of success and forward-thinking.

They don’t match, but they go.

NCT Dream We Go Up

SM Entertainment’s love affair with minimalism continues.

Maybe it’s white space.

Whatever you want to call it, “We Go Up” is the latest in line of lighter songs that breathe between notes rather than being a 100% wall of noise all of the time.

Twice’s “Likey” also did this. I don’t follow all of k-pop enough to know if this is a legit trend, but I can trace it from Red Velvet’s “Peek-a-Boo” through to NCT 127’s “Boss” and now NCT Dream with “We Go Up.”

 

There are so many tropes that permeate this video. The IRL bubble sounds and other samples, which tie it directly to songs like “Boss” and even the clinking glass in EXO’s “Sweet Lies” and “Twenty Four” (I’m pretty sure it’s the same sample in both songs). There’s the pantheon of NCT dance moves, including the bicep flex, the elbow airplane, the knock-knees, the back-to-the-camera-ending-pose (previously seen in NCT 127 “Limitless” and EXO-CBX “Hey Mama”), and of course the obligatory NCT high five.

Mark is aging out of NCT Dream after this comeback. Because of this, the Dreamies have been working to bolster their rap line. I’m pretty impressed with Jaemin and Jisung’s raps. Somebody’s got to hold down the fort when Mark is gone, but nobody could replace him. Mark’s raps have gotten better with age (and he’s barely an adult). Compare his rap in “We Go Up” or “Go” to something like “Mad City” (which was still good) and you’ll hear how much he’s grown.

I really hope that Renjun drew the wolf that’s on their flag. He’s the artist of the group, in that the members have forced him to show off his drawing skills on variety shows.

Like “Boss,” Dreams’ “We Go Up” is a lot more interesting with headphones. There’s a lot of subtle layering that gets revealed when you pay more attention. The bass line is addicting–just enough space between the notes to keep you hanging on–and I love the use of the minor key.

Sometimes I think about how much SM does A/B testing and releases new-and-improved versions of their own content. Red Velvet’s “Mr. E” is a more refined version of “Zoo.” EXO tested the reggae concept with “Twenty Four” before they came out with a reggae-influenced title track. In that vein, this song feels like a refined melody of “We Young” from last summer combined with a bigger version of the beat from “Boss.” Not everything is an evolution, but it’s interesting to tease out the similarities and watch ideas develop.

Kind of like when every group in SM worse gold and silver lame sometime circa 2012.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with NCT Dream. “We Go Up” is not the sound I was expecting from them, but I’m loving it. It’s relaxed and loose and yet interesting and fun. I’m looking forward to their album release–this should be good.

 


PS. SM Entertainment, this is another official request for a Mark/Haechan subunit.

 

Surprise

Sometimes the best kept secret is the one you share at the end.

Surprise parties are awesome, especially when tailored to the recipient.

That is all.

Getting stronger

It’s been almost 2 months since I started the Ted Naiman workout plan.

It’s been even longer since I did any yoga.

That is, until over the weekend when I did the most “girls weekend” thing possible and signed up for a yoga class in a vineyard, complete with wine tasting. Yup. It happened.

I skipped the wine, but I loved doing yoga outside. The wind and getting dirt on my feet during some of the poses made me feel way more comfortable with my body and yoga in general.

Yoga is typically a workout that’s fine for me, but it can sometimes be frustrating to not execute a pose like it should be. Sometimes it’s flexibility, sometimes it’s strength, but as a yoga novice, rare is the time when I do a good yoga pose.

However, this summer I’ve been building muscle.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything, because I haven’t lost much fat and there are only so many push-ups I can do in a row.

Other time, I can see steady improvements.

Doing yoga is one of those times. Movements that used to be nearly impossible for me were suddenly doable. I didn’t have to cheat and modify poses. My muscles didn’t start shaking when I held a pose for slightly too long.

The biggest change I noticed was in my back. I’ve never consciously built up my back muscles before (in fact I avoided it because my back is weak and it hurt), but in my quest to do a pull-up I’ve been paying more attention.

Back muscles make it easier to do yoga.

So do shoulder muscles.

It’s very gratifying to get positive feedback in a functional way that these workouts are actually working. I’m building muscle, but most of all, I’m building strength.

That alone is worth it.

A possible future – should I open a shop?

Sometimes it is difficult for me to tell the difference between a permanent dream and a transitory dream.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an “obsessive” personality. I’ve gotten caught up in something new and

There was a time I was obsessive over the Harry Potter series. There was a time when I thought that I could buy a building on nothing but a teacher’s salary, and had big dreams of running a concert venue. There was a time when I was addicted to celebrity gossip, or when I fell into the My Chemical Romance rabbithole. There are a lot of distractions. Most of them are fun, harmless diversions. K-pop is one of those things for me right now, although my levels of obsessiveness have mellowed with age.

Usually, I can tell that something is a transitory interest…after a while. This is part of the reason why I don’t get tattoos. I don’t want to permanently fix something transitory onto my body; permanent decisions need to have a backbone of the eternal in them.

I understand that some interests are transitory, so I don’t act on them.

The problem is that transitory interests don’t deepen into permanent interests unless you act on them.

When everything is still theoretical, nothing is real. Of course it feels fake and bolted on. Learning how to play the flute felt fake at first, too, until I mastered it.

Anyway, that’s all preamble to this:

Lately I’ve been wanting to quit everything and move to a resort town to open a shop that sells letterpress and journals and plants and pens and maybe some old books and some art. In my head, this setup would give me “time” in between customers to also do some writing, and maybe when I made enough money I could hire a shopgirl to take care of customers while I run a business and a publishing company out of the back.

This is all very much predicated on there being a market for what I want to sell, and I have no idea of that exists.

I’ve always wanted to be involved with printing and publishing. Lately I’ve loved (LOVED) taking care of plants, and propagating them. And I’m low-key obsessed with finding the best pens for writing.

If I ran a shop, this would be the type of shop I would run. I’m just not entirely sure that I’m a person who would enjoy running a shop.

That is, I’m not sure if this is a transient desire or a permanent desire.

It certainly dovetails with my desire to buy a building in a town that will work for me financially.

It also dovetails with my desire to learn more about botany and printmaking.

And it dovetails with the fact that at some level, I’m a contrarian. I will always need something to hate. Currently that something is students and faculty, and the university itself. Perhaps in the future it can be tourists that I love to hate.

I love the idea of being a shopkeeper, of curating the perfect balance of goods, and selling it to people who care. The reality is that most people don’t care, nothing is perfect, and I quit my retail job after 6 months.

Honestly I need to start selling things online, to see if I can do it. Then I could build up some capital to open an IRL store.

I need to do more creating so that I have value for people. I need to do the work to create a permanent future.

Real Life

I never anticipate how Real Life ™ will interrupt my capacity to have something to say.

Maybe it’s because I’m focused on MBTI right now, but I wonder if keeping busy with physical and social activities somewhat thwarts my propensity for Introverted Thinking, instead keeping my other functions more active, the Extraverted ones (Intuition and Feeling) which are pointed at people, and Sensing, which has way more to do with actually doing things.

It’s when I sit in an office with nothing to expend my energy on and nothing better to think about when I dream up all the things I write in here.

Maybe it’s the change in the tenor of my life, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m hanging out with more S and J types than I’m used to. Maybe it’s the fact that being polite in social company requires me to extravert, rather than introvert, my Sensing capabilities. I find myself taking action, cooking breakfast and clearing plates–things that I’m not often inclined to do for myself.

On the other hand, I could not sustain this way of being forever. I can put my deep need for solitude on hold for a weekend, but I cannot put it on hold indefinitely. At some point I would need to pull back and recharge.

So while I have nothing to say about the stuff that I would normally write about (the stuff that my Extraverted Intuition likes to pick up from the internet), I do have stuff generated by my Introverted Thinking and Extraverted Feeling and Sensing in general.

(Interesting how I didn’t count it because my Extraverted Intuition wasn’t as involved as it normally is.)

I still write, but my writing is much more in tune with my actual experiences, rather than what I’m seeing in the world. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that’s the seed at the beginning of “write what you know.”

Perhaps this is a cue for me to reexamine what fuels my writing.

Travel Gains

Not sure if I’ve talked about this before, but I’m on a #tinytravel weekend again. I love taking small roadtrips that become a mini-vacation. Take no time off work, or only a few days, drive somewhere interesting, and spend a few days exploring.

An unexpected side effect of this has been gains in my health status.

Before, when I was young, sad, and sick, travel always slayed me. Dehydration. Exhaustion. Tense worry. Uncertainty. Different food and water. They’d all stack up and become these unsurmountable things that would completely wreck my health. There was a time–I must have been about eight years old–when my parents had to get my physician to call in a prescription to prednisone to the nearest pharmacy to get me through the remainder of the vacation.

Anything that deviated from the routine was suspect.

Now, however, the word “antifragile” has entered my life. (Which I find somewhat funny because twelve-year-old me cosigns every single paragraph of the introduction.) Perhaps this is a byproduct of having read and digested many of Taleb’s writings. Perhaps it’s eating nothing but meat. Perhaps it’s mental maturity.

What has happened is this: every time I take a tiny trip, my body functions better than before. My digestion signals improve. My eczema starts to heal. I brace for the worst and somehow get the best.

This could just be that I’m distracted, that I have something to focus on besides myself. And that’s quite possibly true.

It could be that a variable schedule every once in a while actually helps shake things up.

Perhaps I have an expectation of and desire for good health, since I want to do and see all of the things that were the reason for the trip in the first place.

Whatever it is, I’ll take it.

I love that I have the freedom to travel and explore, and that I don’t have to worry that doing so will damage my health. It’s like I have my life back.

Some weeks you can’t do anything right

Sometimes, you can do anything and it’s perfect.

Other times, you can’t do anything right. You’re tuned a few hertz too low and you’re a little bit off tempo. You don’t fit, you don’t think, and you don’t have a future.

And in those second times, though they happen to everybody, it can be really hard to forgive yourself.

You make a mistake. Mistakes happen. You fix them.

And then there are mistakes that reveal deep-seated personality flaws. Those are much more difficult to fix.

Second thoughts on a date

I met a guy for coffee tonight.

He seemed good. Conservative, had his life mostly together. A few red flags. “Other religion,” and a surprising ignorance of the local political scene at my college.

You see, he turns out to be a “conservative activist.” He gets paid to go to different college campuses to recruit college students to start conservative groups, supporting things like gun rights and traditional marriage.

That sounds okay on the surface, so I asked him what he thought of our local jimmy-rustling candidate who makes front page news and was prominently involved with the local branch of Campus Republicans.

He had no idea. “Who??”

That should have tipped me off right at first. Eventually he showed me a note on his phone that said “contact this guy” but at that point…too late. Especially after he’s already making front-page news in his new city, working on his new project.

I told him that I kind of want to burn it all down (metaphorically speaking, of course).

His response is that’s what he’s also trying to do, to bait the left into starting something huge.

But here’s the kicker.

Immediately after, he says he doesn’t want to get into anything with Antifa. He doesn’t want to go head to head with any real danger. And yet, he wants to recruit college kids into doing activist work, WHERE THEY WOULD BE RISKING THEIR REPUTATIONS AND THEIR BODILY SAFETY.

When I talked about the guy who got shot at the Milo event in Seattle, he thought the dude was carrying a nazi flag, like somehow that would justify it. (Spoiler: the dude was Antifa.)

The more I think about this, the more it doesn’t sit right with me.

Part of me wonders if this guy is a fed, if they’ve graduated from baiting the neonazis to baiting poor unsuspecting college students.

Perhaps that is too paranoid.

He spun this story about how he came out of Secular Jewish liberalism to basic-bitch conservatism. He’s trying to set up 2A activist groups without knowing anything about guns or the second amendment.

It all feels a little “hello, fellow kids.”

And yet, doesn’t all conservative activism feel like that? “Conservative activist” is pretty much a contradiction in terms.

I also wonder if he’s just using me for information and contacts, rather than genuine interest in me as a partner. The question of longevity entered my mind the minute I knew he was only in town for a few weeks, but there’s a difference between a fun fling and market research.

I think too much. I know I do. My rational self says that we connect well and had an interesting conversation. But my intuition is screaming at me.

Maybe it’s just that he’s a coward, but with this guy, something seems off.

Normally I wouldn’t even post something like this on the blog, because it’s a bunch of internal rambling trying to sort out my weird experience. I might delete this post later, once I figure out what I really think of him. Nobody needs to read an overthinking piece on some guy I met for coffee.

He’s not a real long-term consideration anyway because he’s not a Christian. In fact, he just got out of a cult-type guru situation.

Red flags galore.

Sometimes I feel like Extraverted Intuition is a big bully

Okay, folks. I recently discovered

PersonalityJunkie.com

and it is my newest favorite supplier of MBTI ammo. Of all the typology sites I’ve read, this is by far the most robust in terms of the Functionality of each of the preferences. And to me, the Functionality is the most helpful part.

That’s got me thinking even more than usual about personality type, both in myself and in the people around me. I finally concluded that my boss is an INFJ, not an INFP, as I had previously suspected. Now I know exactly why my boss has the particular personality quirks that he does.

But for me, the primary Introverted Thinker, I’ve been doing a lot of introspection. Gosh, isn’t that surprise.

(When people talk about repeating the same mistake over and over again, I think our personality function stack has something to do with it.)

Anyway, as an INTP, I deal primarily with the world through Introverted Thinking, but I interact with the outside world mostly through Extraverted Intuition.

I love my Ne, it’s true. I love making known the hidden connections between things, and exploring seemingly random ideas and possibilities. It’s a lot of fun.

But lately I’ve started to see how Ne takes over my life, and I’m getting frustrated with it.

  • Ti plans out a productive day, and my Ne says “Nah I’m not gonna do that”
  • Ti has thought of all the possibilities and contingencies and plans, and Ne’s like JUST DO IT (and then does it)
  • Ti wants to do things RIGHT while Ne wants to do all the things right now no waiting let’s go
  • Ne convinces Ti to stop doing too much work, because Ne can wing it and pull it off perfectly 98% of the time
  • Ne LOVES browsing the internet–especially Twitter–and Ti is also secretly convinced that without this habit it will have nothing to chew on
  • Ti spends the time articulating a really fine point, and Ne communicates it with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop

(Yes I animate my personality function stack. I find it helpful because my internal mechanisms are Thinking and Sensing, which are dry and make it difficult to have fun. All my fun functions are extraverted.)

Maybe that’s why I like writing more, because it gives my Ti a fighting chance against the sheer force of will that comes with Ne. Although, that’s how I’ve kept this blog up, by Ne going LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU to Ti’s insistence that all posts be perfect.

Even this blog post has been subject to that effect. What I had in mind is not what has come out on the page.

The thing is, I feel like Ne does it wants while Ti protests, and Si and Fe stand around and watch. Which does not a productive and functional personality make.

The answer is probably to strengthen my other cognitive capacities, and work to create room for them to grow and to build confidence in their abilities. But how?

I also feel like it would behoove me to turn my Ne in on myself, for some Ni personal perception.

I don’t know how to do that, though. How do you influence a personality characteristic that is barely even described, let alone studied?

Questions first, answers later.

Because if my Ti has learned anything, it’s that if you can’t articulate the question, you’re going to get a garbage answer.

Even from Ne.

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