Month: November 2018 (page 3 of 3)

Magazine Dreams

To answer my question, yes magazines are propaganda. They are glamour. They exist in the space between “what is” and “what we hope for” (and frankly, they wallow in and widen that space).

The problem is they do not necessarily help us get from where we are to where we want to be.

This article (“Start a 1-acre, Self-Sufficient Homestead“) is republished by Mother Earth News 2+ times per year, and has been for a decade or more.

Why?

Because the dirty little secret of how-to magazines is that they are not instruction guides, they are tools for guided dreaming.

I’ve advertised in them (when I read http://Smartflix.com ), and talked to their ad sales people

They’re very forthright, and explain that their readers are “aspirational”.

There’s an argument that the reason that people play the lottery is not rational expectations, but buying an opportunity to dream.

Related, the reason people buy Mother Earth News and all the other homesteading magazines is because it gives them enough data to give their dreams a patina of realism. Same reason Lucas Films puts greebles and exhaust marks on spaceships.

Doesn’t make them real.

…but when you dream about living on a small self sufficient farm, and you can picture it with an old tractor that you’ve greased the zerk fittings on, it’s a BETTER, HIGHER QUALITY dream.

In 1970s and 1980s folks talked about Star Wars, Blade Runner as “lived in futures”

So Mother Earth News, etc. give you a “lived in future” for yourself. Instead of just thinking “in 10 years maybe we’ll live on a farm”, you think “in 10 years maybe we’ll live on a 3 acre farm with an old Ford tractor and some Buff Orppington chickens”.

Much more “real”.

But notice the difference between the PATINA of a lived in future, and an ACTUAL future.

The patina is painted on the surface, and it doesn’t need to actually work, it just needs to LOOK real, not BE real.

This creates selective pressure for the types of articles that are written and – PRAISE GNON! – this is the kind of article we get.

Which sells better? “Live debt free on 4 acres” or “Hobby farming is very hard and very expensive”?

You know the answer.

Now, with this in mind, go to the newsstand and look at all the farm LARP magazines. Every headline on the cover, & every article inside matches the template I just laid out.

(Go read the rest of the tweetstorm, especially if you’re a city person interested in starting a farm.)

This tells us two things. Probably more, but let’s focus on two.

Details make dreams more powerful
Publications create a dream-gap without actually providing a viable way to fill it

I used to be a magazine addict. I loved magazines, especially fashion magazines, especially weird or foreign fashion magazines. One of the reasons that I quit buying them (other than money), is that I started to think about how little value they added to my life. Yes, the pictures were pretty and I enjoyed posting some on my wall, and I liked the entertainment factor—but in terms of actually advancing my life, nothing.

During this time, I found that it was more satisfying to look at super-high-end fashion—couture—than it was to look at “regular people” fashion. Couture I knew I would never be able to afford, so I just enjoyed looking at it for art’s sake. The “regular people” fashion presented clothes to me that I would fall in love with, but couldn’t quite afford. It always left a bad taste in my mouth, because I found the perfect bag/shoe/coat to no avail.

Both types of magazines left a gap between what I was looking at and my actual life. One was large and expansive, and 100% fantasy—fun. The other was small

So how can we turn this to our advantage? How can the dream-gap work for me instead of against me?

Dream with details. Details make everything more powerful. The more realistic something is, the more it sticks in your brain (think about cartoon violence vs live-action) and part of that is the details. You’ll always viscerally remember how something smelled, or a specific texture during a significant moment.

It always struck me that Tony Robbins corrects people who say you should think about your greatest moments as a way to create a positive vision for yourself. No, he said on a James Altucher podcast, you should relive that moment. Mentally put yourself back there and experience all the little details. That, more than anything, will wake up your brain and give you the feeling of success that you’re after.

If you’re going to dream “realistically,” actually take the actions to do the things you’re dreaming. Otherwise, dream insane and dream big. Then your dreams will never fail you.

And certainly don’t count on magazines to get you where you want to go.

Image of the Week: Memes become dreams

2018-11-09 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

(or is that nightmares?)

Pewdiepie’s dreams came true. Someone wore the Montcler x Pierpaolo Piccoli collection in the wild.

Embed from Getty Images

Because no event calls for a nun-Darth-Vader-puffer-jacket-Christmas-angel look like a Harry Potter movie premier. Looks like Ezra Whatshisface is determined to ascend to the next level of fame, yeah?

Dressing this way certainly gets you buzz. But it also makes you the weird goth kid who is super-pissed that he has to take family photos with the rest of the normals.

Priorities, I guess.

The NCT Subunit We Need

2018-11-08 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Some day in the future, I hope to log on to r/kpop and see the headline of my dreams: “SM Ent announcesMark, Haechan, and Taeil as next NCT subunit.”

Man that would be a great day. Let me tell you why.

courtesy NCT 127 Insta

Musical blend

Mark is the best rapper in SM Entertainment. He writes most of his own lyrics, and tends to play around with rhythm. His voice isn’t overly resonant, which is not as much of a problem as it sounds—helps him stand out against smooth vocals.

Haechan is not a rapper, even though he had a rap line in “We Go Up.” I used to describe his voice as fuzzy, but lately it’s not as rough—Haechan has refined his singing technique to a smooth velvety texture.

Taeil, on the other hand, has a smooth, piercing voice. If we continue the fabric metaphor, Taeil’s voice is a light, cool silk. He has tremendous flexibility and range.

Complimentary charisma

I’l use the word “charisma” because it’s used so often in Korean-English translations. What I like about Mark, Haechan, and Taeil together is that like their voices, they bring a complimentary set of strengths to the table.

Mark I often describe as “workmanlike.” He has an incredible work ethic (literally been in all NCT comebacks with the exception of “Baby Don’t Stop” and songs with the vocal line only), and a drive to improve. In 2018, his dancing has gone from merely adequate to wait, is that Mark?. He once got a dance feature at an awards show, even though his official position in NCT has nothing to do with dance. He will make sure things get done.

Almost on the opposite side of the spectrum, Haechan is a performer. He will take any opportunity to make a joke or do something extra. You will always be entertained when he’s around. Where Mark can sometimes be overly serious and focused, Haechan lightens the mood—but he’s deadly serious about performing. Watching his slow transformation into Michael Jackson (1, 2) is fascinating, as he’s obviously studying and applying what he sees.

Because Taeil is so quiet, he’s harder to figure out. But given that he plays piano and guitar, and given that if he weren’t an idol he would have gone to University for music, I feel safe in saying that he is an artistry guy.

A sense of humor

It may not be apparent when you first get to know NCT, because Taeil is so quiet in interviews, but all three dudes have a great sense of humor. Haechan (his stage name literally means “Full Sun”) is the most obvious, because he’s always the class clown. Taeil doesn’t often joke around on camera, but his playful sense of humor still shows through occasionally—like in his feature during promotions for “Touch.” Mark is less of an instigator, but is more than willing to play along with jokes and gives great reactions. My favorite example of this is Haechan and Mark’s surprise game of Rock Paper Scissors during promotions for “My First and My Last.” (Haechan’s reaction is real, btw.)

Now humor doesn’t often factor into a comeback song, but it is an indicator of how a team will perform together. Even based on these random Insta photos, these three work together just fine.

To sum up, a Mark/Haechan/Taeil subunit would be a winning combination of looks, musical balance, charisma, and teamwork. And they already have promo photos!

K-pop idols are already some weird combination of trading cards (for the stats and modular personalities) and paper dolls (for the fashion), so I don’t think it’s all that weird indulging in some fantasy football-inspired dreams here.

So if you’re a SM Entertainment rep randomly trolling the internet looking for ideas, consider this one.

$300 gym visit

2018-11-07 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

The muscles lay, relaxed and warm, nestled between fluffy covers and a firm mattress. (They were, of course, firmly housed in a pair of legs.) It was early, so they tensed lengthened as their owner flexed her toes, slowly waking up.

Little did they know it was leg day.

Soon enough those muscles found themselves pressing down the gas pedal in the car. It was cold, made even colder by the chilly air that was blowing through the vent in a slow attempt to warm up. Maybe the muscles wished they could have been enclosed in full-length leggings instead of cropped leggings, but we’ll never know. Hey, they’re muscles—no brain needed.

After ripping out an impressive 57 mph on the highway, the muscles kicked into gear with an uphill walk from the parking lot to the gym. They trip-trapped down three flights of stairs to the locker room, and stood patiently while a gym bag was stowed in a locker.

Then, it was off to the weight room. The muscles still had no idea what was in store for them. They blissfully warmed up slowly during some time on the rowing machine, clenching just enough to get the feet in and out of the toe-holds. But what did they care, most of the work was being done by the back.

Then, it started. Goblet squats. With a newfound range of motion built up over a summer of calisthenics, the muscled tensed and flexed in perfect form. With weights, rather than with pure bodyweight, the muscles felt a different tension. It was urgent. This was serious.

During the next exercise—dumbbell-assist forward lunges—pain entered into the muscles. They were used to sticking together, one for all, but these new exercises were pushing them in new and different directions. They actually had to adapt to perform the movement they were asked to do.

After a relatively straightforward leg press and some situps (in which they were blissfully uninvolved), the muscles were rewarded with a nice warm shower back in the locker room.

As they walked the legs back down the hill from the gym, the muscles groaned and complained. They hadn’t been asked to do that much work in quite some time—it was unfair.

They couldn’t walk out or go on strike, so they decided to put up as much of a fuss as possible, starting that afternoon. They weren’t asked about going to the gym, but the sure could get their revenge.

That, my friends, is the story of why I’ve been walking like an old lady since Monday.

I got back in the gym this week. It’s been good, muscle complaints aside. This particular gym offered a 1-year package at a lump sum of $300. Each time I go, I’ll recalculate the price-per-visit. But that means my first visit was $300 per visit.

Now I’ve gone twice, so the price has dropped to $150 per visit.

What a bargain.

Virtue-Signal Voting

2018-11-06 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

The story begins as it always begins. A girl—with a social media account, of course—wakes. She showers, puts on her makeup, and selects an outfit of the day. Perhaps today’s is a little more thematic than most. There’s somewhere special to go, something special to do.

Today is, of course, election day.

“tell me something I don’t know”

Next comes, a perfectly photographed spread of fruit or a food-styled smoothie bowl. Maybe she drinks a smoothie with a scoop of matcha and some kale. A celebratory brunch with friends. Whatever.

Now is today’s big event: a trip to the polls, where she can vote—but more importantly, beg the attendant to give her a couple extra “I voted stickers” just in case her first one ruins the shot.

She has planned this moment for days. The outfit, the styling, how to set off that sticker in just the right way. The vibe must fit with the rest of her feed. Aesthetics first, anything else second. After all, we vote because it’s the cause du jour, not because we genuinely want to.

The caption must be non-partisan, as to not alienate her followers, but with enough of an undertone that everyone knows who she voted for anyway. A blue heart emoji will do.

A check on the social media account to match the check on her ballot. Just like every other instagirl, she has voted and told the world about it.

I used a story generator to cheat at #storyvember

2018-11-05 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Call it Mad Libs ™. Call it a story generator. Whatever you call it, I got a laff.

Sometimes you just got no stories in you, and that’s okay, even though you’ve committed to posting every day on a blog and don’t want to let yourself down after so many posts in a row. That’s when you call upon the internet to help you cheat. (Thanks, internet!)

For the record, I chose a “financial” plot that ended “violently.” I like fill-in-the-blank stories like these because they reveal the word salad that fiction writing so often is.

Without further ado, friends, I give you….

The Ephemeral Bass Guitar

Frankie Gideon looked at the ephemeral bass guitar in her hands and felt shy.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her old surroundings. She had always loved creaky Miss Trumpet’s Earworm Academy with its colossal, clear creaky old practice room. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel shy.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Violet Beauchamp. Violet was a disciplined grifter with dark eyes and muscular toes.

Frankie gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a stoic, honest, coffee drinker with tall eyes and lanky toes. Her friends saw her as a wild, wooden wrecking ball. Once, she had even helped a huge stock market cross the road.

But not even a stoic person who had once helped a huge stock market cross the road, was prepared for what Violet had in store today.

The sleet rained like rocking out kittens, making Frankie bored.

As Frankie stepped outside and Violet came closer, she could see the depressed glint in her eye.

“Look Frankie,” growled Violet, with a flighty glare that reminded Frankie of disciplined hyenas. “It’s not that I don’t love you, but I want respect. You owe me 6934 dollars.”

Frankie looked back, even more bored and still fingering the ephemeral bass guitar. “Violet, go away, you little punk,” she replied.

They looked at each other with downtrodden feelings, like two prickly, perfect pandas thrashing at a very low-key study hall, which had punk rock music playing in the background and two imaginative uncles swinging to the beat.

Suddenly, Violet lunged forward and tried to punch Frankie in the face. Quickly, Frankie grabbed the ephemeral bass guitar and brought it down on Violet’s skull.

Violet’s dark eyes trembled and her muscular toes wobbled. She looked elated, her wallet raw like a colossal, concerned checkbook.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Violet Beauchamp was dead.

Frankie Gideon went back inside and made herself a nice cup of coffee.

THE END

A Very Personal Review of EXO’s Don’t Mess Up My Tempo

2018-11-04 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Like many fans around the world, I had November 2 marked on my calendar—finally, an EXO comeback. It had been over a year since the last full album release.

With that immense and quietly building space of expectation, new music would be 1. immediately welcomed by EXO-Ls worldwide, but 2. with a group at the top of its game, eventually there will be a below-average release. No pressure.

With Don’t Mess Up My Tempo, EXO pulled it off…mostly.

Tempo

Tempo feels comfortably EXO. It’s fun in the vein of “Call Me Baby.” The chorus is singable. The sound engineering and f(x) are incredible. The harmonies are on point—specifically the bit where Xiumin and Sehum sing and rap octaves over each other, and of course the a capella section. This is a song that knows the best of EXO and how to present it to its fullest, morphing and reprising itself through funky descending bass lines and soaring vocals.

As the members grow as artists/performers and head into their late 20s (Sehun, the youngest member, is currently 24 years old), they’ve transitioned from a young group in search of a sound to a self-assured group who knows their strengths. If you were wondering which group reigns as the VOCAL KINGS of k-pop, this is your receipt.

I will not be surprised when a bunch of other acts come out with a capella tracks next year.

The music video isn’t super-innovative but the glitchy light effects are really cool, like the boys are holograms. Chanyeol shines with his blue contacts (I picked a good bias).

Sign

I don’t recall grotty bass lines (reminiscent of NCT 127’s “Limitless”) being a popular back then, but this song reminds me of an alternate-universe Korean version of an early 2000s boy band song. (Maybe it’s the “bye bye bye” part?) We don’t deserve Baekhyun and his vocals.

Fun fact: I keep mishearing one of the lyrics as “Honestly, pikachu”

Ooh-La-La-La

This is a song that makes you really appreciate SM’s sound engineers. It’s such ear candy—from the subtle pop of a record-player effect to the way that the layers of sound are so airily pieced together. The guitar riff is beautiful, almost “island feeling,” like you could play it on a ukelele and sing on a beach and it would sound just as good. Otherwise it’s a simple song; I want to hate it because it verges on saccharine but I also kind of love it. Like a popsicle on a hot summer day, but that’s French themed with a big whiff of fresh island air.

Gravity

“Gravity” is the song that “Power” wanted to be. I’m loving 80s club feel to this one, with the sample from “Power” in the intro, and the powerful yet funky bass line (SM is really good at those). Lyrically, I love the interplay between Korean and English; the chorus creates a rhyming pattern in Korean that begs for a declarative singing of “GRAVITY” to round it out—but instead of giving us the relief in the first round, they build anticipation through a full seven lines before finally giving us the payoff. It’s great—I haven’t had a song keep me on the edge of my seat lyrically like this before. Especially since most of the lyrics are in another language!

With You

EXO would like to float over fluffy white clouds with you. It’s ballad with undertones of traditional Korean music. Sweet, but not particularly memorable.

24/7

Love it or hate it, this song builds from a distinctive whistle to a very Motown-ish throwback (disclaimer: I’m not a Motown expert). I’m not a fan of full-on falsetto songs (with the exception of Big Bang’s “Cafe“), but this one is really well executed. The call-and-response structure is interesting, and the vocals are on point.

Bad Dream

If any of the songs on this album grew on me, it’s this one. I went from “okay I kind of like this one” to “obsessively listening on repeat” in less than an hour. This song is all over the place musically, somehow combining a bouncy synth, gorgeous guitar riffs (but not enough of them!), a dolphin-like pealing sound, and an absolutely beautiful-yet-rough moving bass line that reminds me of something that I can’t quite place. The vocals shine on this one, with more technical acrobatics a la “Stay” from last year’s winter album.

Damage

HYPE.
Sehun’s E-X-O is back.
It’s a jam.

Smile On My Face

One of EXO’s b-side staples is the R&B ballad. Most fans love them. This incarnation is very soothing, and Chen’s harmonies are heavenly. Moving on.

Oasis

Like “Been Through” from last year’s winter album, I bet that “Oasis” will be a popular track on the album with American fans. To me, it sounds more like Western pop than k-pop. It’s not a bad song at all–the melody is gorgeous–it just feels like anthemic indie pop.

Overall: Don’t mess up a good thing

This album feels sonically cohesive, and darker than The War (which would make sense, considering that this is an autumn album). SM is good at matching album “tones” to the season, as you can see in the differences between Red Velvet’s summer vs fall releases.

With this album, there are no surprises. EXO has dialed in their sound. It’s like they’re now a “middle aged” group instead of a hungry young wolfpack. I’m glad they’re making cohesive albums now instead of random collections of singles, but on the flip side there were no songs that catch me by surprise, no “Forever” or “El Dorado.”

When I first listened to The War last summer I was immediately and utterly obsessed with “Forever.” It grabbed me in a way that few songs do. None of the songs on DMWMT have grabbed me in that way, with the possible exception of “Bad Dream.”

I like this album, but I don’t LOVE it. Like…there’s nothing wrong with this album but I’m also not obsessed with it. It’s clean. It’s well balanced. It shows off EXO’s skills in a variety of ways. But I honestly can’t see myself listening to it much, other than picking off a few favorites to add to my epic EXO playlist.

It says something that I listened to NCT 127’s Regular-Irregular again before I settled down to write this review.

[Update: I’ve been listening to this album on repeat. Oops! It’s great, the end.]

It may be relevant to note that I’ve always preferred the young, exploratory phase of a musician’s existence over the polished and complete work that tends to be produced later on.

The Reader: Media Smears, Social Skills, and GaryVee

2018-11-03 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

source

When I came up with the idea of #storyvember, I didn’t think about this series that I’ve started to feature on the weekends. Because this format doesn’t lend itself well to story, I’m not going to worry about smashing it into the “story” format just yet. I’ll chew on it for a while, and maybe by the end of the month I’ll modulate this list into a story of its own.

» IRB doesn’t apply in research online by social media companies, and now it’s starting to fail in real life. I don’t know if this is a win for dismantling outdated institutions, or a loss for humanity. Please be alert and aware in any medical setting.

» They did it to Mike Cernovich and co earlier this week. Now they’re coming for Julian Assange. Caitlin Johnstone is always worth a read.

The point is to create public revulsion for Julian Assange, thereby killing sympathy for his unconscionable persecution and dampening the impact of any future WikiLeaks releases. The point is to marry Assange’s name with the idea of bad smells, so that the public will begin to find themselves increasingly disgusted by him and everything he stands for without quite remembering exactly why they feel such disdain for him.

» Socialite Magazine is an interesting read, for those of us who struggle with social skills. I find that for myself, it’s not the actual skills involved (I can get along with anybody if I have to), rather it’s the realization that I need to deploy those social skills and that I could, in fact, make a new friend at any given point in time. Perhaps that’s the difference between Extraverted Feeling (me, even though it’s weak) and Introverted Feeling (the ISTJ who writes Socialite Mag)

» A little birdie told me that Colourpop’s Boss Brow Gel is a dupe for Glossier’s Boy Brow. Ordering some now, I’ll report back when I have an opinion.

» Hawaiian Libertarian has graced us with a new post. Look past the gloss of “tinhat conspiracy theorist” and look for the big picture—Keoni knows what he’s talking about. Read and learn.

» K-pop has avante garde music, too

» In honor of #storyvember: What is a Story?

» Watch out for the goo-roos slipping blood into your taco (read this if you’re trying to launch a business or sell a product)

» Intro to Visual Culture (warning: lots of academicese)

“Visual Culture” studies recognizes the predominance of visual forms of media, communication, and information in the postmodern world.
Has there been a social and cultural shift to the visual, over against the verbal and textual, in the past 50 years, and has it been accelerating in the past 10 or 20 years?
- Or are our written, textual, and visual systems continuing an ongoing reconfiguration in a new (recognizable) phase?
Study of visual culture merges popular and “low” cultural forms, media and communications, and the study of “high” cultural forms or fine art, design, and architecture.

The Divide

2018-11-02 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

When I was 23, I moved to a very liberal city. It’s not the most liberal city on the West Coast, but it’s famous for its, shall we say, really enthusiastic prayer rallies.

At the time, I was fresh out of undergrad—bright eyed and hella libertarian. I hadn’t yet discovered the difference between a state and a nation, and thought that borders were stupid since as far as I knew they were basically arbitrary.

In my new city, I settled into my new life. I walked to the grocery store and cooked myself dinners. I hung out with my roommate and watched the Westminster dog show on TV as I studied. Eventually, I went through the requisite mental breakdown as a graduate student, and spent too much money on coffee (because I was flat broke).

Amidst this backdrop of normalcy, a steady drip-drip-drip of leftism dropped against my forehead. You can’t escape it in this city—in most cities. It’s everywhere, softly emanating from the newsstands and whispered by the rustle of umbrellas (which are mostly wielded by out-of-staters). It’s implicit in nearly every conversation and behind every knowing glance over a glib reference to capitalism or the patriarchy.

Many people would go along with this—and I didn’t appear to resist on the outside. But inside my head I started to notice, to wonder. I had questions.

Eventually I searched the internet for answers to some of my questions, and found that other people were asking them too. I read their answers. I read everything I could find. I was offended—some of the mental scars are still with me to this day.

Still, I was intrigued. There was Truth here. And gradually I found myself drifting farther and farther to the right, even as I was surrounded in a softly smothering sea of leftism.

Now as an older, hopefully-wiser woman, I see graphics like “Moving to the Extreme,” and I understand. It’s terrifying to think about, but I myself am one of those tiny red dots that has moved away from the center toward one of the opposing poles.

Even though (or maybe especially because) many of our differences are fake, entirely-engineered scams cooked up by a media that is incentivized by an unholy combination of money, clicks, and hidden special interests, the divide is very real and very much growing.

Just ask my 23-year-old self.

Storyvember

2018-11-01 / childlike empress / 0 Comments

Once upon a time, there was a blog.

It was just a little slip of a blog, but it was growing. Slowly but surely, it grew bigger with new posts ever day. People found the blog, from search results and social media links. Traffic grew from a tiny trickle to a steady, if small, stream.

Like most blogs, this blog had a writer. She had challenged herself to put time and effort into the blog, to see what might happen. Emboldened by the steady, small stream of success, she began to think of ways to make the blog even better. She wanted to make it a digital space where people wanted to spend their time, where they could learn new things and think about the world in new ways.

One day in October, as she saw an email about NaNoWriMo—National Novel-Writing Month—the blog writer thought to herself “Boy, I don’t want to write a novel during the month of November, but I sure do want to become a better storyteller.”

In that moment, #storyvember was born.

During the month of November, the blog writer decided, every single blog post would be in the form of a story. Some might be true, others might be fiction. Some might be parables, and others might be weird or practical. There were no rules, other than she had to write a blog post every day, and it had to be in the form of a story.

She knew this would be a difficult challenge—something that she had never done before. All her best writing had been non-fiction, something that was story-tinged but not story-focused.

Still, she was ready. It was time for a new challenge, one that would force her to grow and change and learn.

On the first day of November, our blog writer took a deep breath and wrote a story. You’re reading it now. It’s not particularly polished or insightful, and it certainly isn’t a thing of great beauty, but it conveyed the message of #storyvember and that’s what counts.

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Oct				Dec »
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30

Batfort

Style reveals substance