Batfort

Style reveals substance

Month: December 2018

Life as a Carnivore (World Carnivore Month 2019)

January is World Carnivore Month. That’s cool.

To me, it is January.

I’ll go back to my life after a season of indulging in treats like cheese and dark chocolate and gin. Time to eat clean and healthy for a spell. (And spend some time trying out my new Cuisinart Griddler, which is replacing my beat-up ol’ Foreman grill.)

Many positive things entered my life when I decided to try eating only meat and other animal products.

Yes, being a carnivore has helped me stop craving sweets and binge-eating carbs. Yes, being a carnivore has given my body the environment it needs to heal from over two decades of autoimmune disease. Yes, being a carnivore has given me more energy than I’ve ever known, which has led to more travelling and more time in the gym (hello, muscles!).

It could be easy to paint the carnivore diet as a magic cure—the holy grail that you’ve been searching for that will cure all your aches and pains, make you feel younger and healthier, and cause the sun to shine on you even in the rain.

Some people on the carnivore forums spin those tales. They claim that their lifelong ailments were cured in a few days, or that they lost a bunch of weight without trying, or that their depression lifted or whatever. Maybe this was their experience.

In my experience, healing takes time even when you’re eating a strict diet. Change is difficult. Results take time, and optimizing requires lots of trial and error. Even under a new paradigm, you have to test and change your assumptions. Other people’s promises don’t always apply to you.

The thing about life as a carnivore, is that it’s just that: life.

I wake up, I go to sleep. This way of eating does not exempt me from needing rest. In fact, it has underscored how much I need a full night’s sleep. Without the “buffer” of carbs and the luxury of copious amounts of coffee, lack of sleep shows up quicker.

I pack my lunches and cook dinners after work. Carnivory does not supply me with hot meals on command (I wish!), nor does it mean that I never think about food. Sure, eating this way is a lot simpler, but I still have to figure out when prep meals for the week or what I’m going to eat if I’m going out somewhere. Now that I’m somewhat established, I’m finding that it’s time to become more adventuresome with eating—time to try out the organ meats and “off” cuts that I have been avoiding.

I struggle with stress. One thing eating like a carnivore taught me is that one does not simply solve all problems through a dietary intervention. Sure, diet can solve a lot of underlying problems, but it can’t solve everything. Moving forward, I need to learn to manage stress. If I don’t, no amount of clean eating can help me.

I still need to exercise. Abs or no abs, diet doesn’t provide the benefits of exercise. I still have to do the work, whether its with calisthenics on my living room floor or with free weights at the gym.

And I still monitor my portions. Despite what some people say, we don’t all need to eat 4lbs of ribeye every day. I didn’t start losing weight until I made peace with eating much less (and waaaay less fat than I thought). These days, I eat roughly 1 – 1.5 pounds of lean meat per day, plus a few extras (like beef sticks, coffee, and a little cheese).

For years, I searched for a “magic bullet” that would make all my health problems disappear. For a while, I hoped the carnivore diet would be that solution.

But the real solution—the real thing that being a carnivore has taught me—is that there is no magic pill. There’s no quick trick to getting what I want. No holy grail.

The real magic comes from doing the work—from learning what my body wants, and needs—from making the mistakes and recovering from them. The answers are in me—they always have been—I just need to stay on the straight and narrow path instead of straying looking for shiny magic answers.

My body has everything it needs to heal. I just need to stay out of the way.

 


If you’re trying out the carnivore diet this January, welcome! This is a great way of eating.

It’s true: I made a Zine

After so much wondering about the sincerity of fashion magazines, and magazines in general, I decided that it’s time to step up myself.

So I made a zine!

 

>>> You can download it here: Batfort Zine – Photo Manipulation <<<

Merry Christmas

Wishing you and yours

A restful, festive time

To celebrate the birth of our savior,

Jesus Christ.

I never understood Goya until

Three years ago, I saw death close-up for the first time. My grandmother, after a long and full life, died at home surrounded by family. I can still remember how viscerally the sound of death lingered around her breaths that day.

After that, for the first time, Francisco Goya’s painting Saturn Devouring His Son was no longer creepy or unsettling to me.

I thought of it that night, alone, in bed, even though I hadn’t seen or thought about the painting in years.

Somehow, it made sense.

 

I still don’t like looking at this painting—it’s not pleasurable to look at—but it’s no longer alien. I feel like I can speak somewhat of the language of the artist, the inchoate expression that he was putting into form. (Pardon the art-school language.)

I’d prefer not to post this image on my site. I’d prefer not to look at the body of my grandfather, who died this week. There are a lot of things that I’d prefer not to do, but that life dictates otherwise.

That is why I believe in art.

It’s crazy to me how much art can help make sense of the world, and how some art doesn’t make any sense until you need it.

There is art that is bullshit, but then there is art that communicates something so deeply that it bypasses words and goes straight for the heart.

This is the art we need.

Things not to do

This is some of my best advice. Never do these things:

  • Get pneumonia
  • Have a grandparent die
  • Get stuck behind two vehicles blocking the highway going the exact same speed in both lanes

What, you think you don’t have control over these things?

Never do them if you value your health and your life.

Hello

Photo by me

So much for my good intentions to keep posting on vacation. As soon as my flight landed, my brain went on vacation too. I spent most of my time reading beach novels, frolicking in the sun, and sleeping.

I clearly needed a vacation, and I refuse to feel bad about it.

It became especially clear as my travelling companion had little interest in listening to my passing thoughts (many of which will become future blog posts) that I miss writing daily—so posting here will resume post-haste.

I’m also contemplating some sort of podcast, perhaps to document my upcoming journey of de-gnostification. It’s a bit early to set firm goals (I typically do that between Christmas and New Year’s), but I’d like 2019 to be a year of face-to-face relationships, doing art IRL, and examining many of my prior assumptions.

Anyway. I’m back.

Please Stand By

Photo By David Hanjani

There are a few things converging in my life right now:

  • Vacation in an undisclosed tropical location
  • Wrapping up normal life in preparation for said vacation
  • Some sort of upper respiratory sickness (of course!)

I don’t want to let vacation stop the momentum here, but my brain also needs time to relax and unwind. Give me a minute to figure out how we’re going to play this—currently I’m considering uploading a daily sketch diary of my travels.

The visual focus will give my brain a break and maybe something cool will develop out of it.

In the meantime, enjoy looking at this rad picture or read about what blew my mind last week.

Thank you, and goodnight.

A Parable

Light rose over the Kingdom of Nod, flooding in rosy waves over rivers and valleys, barns and boulders, roads and fields. over winking crystalline fields of Anyeo and the singing brooks and sighing ponds.

People were stirring, slowly moving in the yards and on the roads. Mornings were peaceful in the Kingdom of Nod, because it was protected by a mountain range from the Kingdom of Fog, where the enemy reigned.

Nestled into the foothills of the mountains lay the fields of a great master of growing thing, which lay splendidly over the rich soil. The master of growing things was a wise man, running his household in a generous and fair manner. In return, both his servants and his crops gave abundantly and with joy.

While most of the crops were foodstuff or fields for grazing sheep and goats, a few choice fields were held back for Anyeo. This fiber was prized by the king for its soft texture yet its twinkling visuals—when treated right its threads could provide a subtle glow in addition to the warmth of regular yarn made out of wool or flax.

Anyeo grew slowly, and required great care, so the master of growing things—who gained his reputation by successfully sorting out the seeds of the Anyeo from the seeds of the Dago, a similar plant from the Kingdom of Fog but whose fibers were rough and gnarled, thrashing the hands of the people who worked with it—carefully taught the most conscientious of his servants how to grow the Anyeo plant, how to tend and water it, how to spot when things were growing wrong or when the plants might not yield the revered sparkle texture.

Yves, a maid in this household, moved through a courtyard. She was a spinner who spun the plant of the Anyeo into threads of many colors, and wove those threads into great tapestries and embroideries that adorned the halls of her masters house. She one day hoped to spin and weave for the king.

Each morning, before she bent over her work, Yves took time to stretch her back and her legs, to remind herself of where the Anyeo fibers came from, and the work it took to get them to grow by walking through the fields. Over time, she had come to know the other servants, and they developed  a friendship over dedication to growing the best Anyeo ever.

On this ever-so-slightly chilly day, Yves marveled at how the rosy light of the dawn glinted off the tender buds of the Anyeo. they sprouted across the field like little rows of marching toy soldiers. Dappled light from the Yangtee Trees overhead dampened some of the sparkle, except…and at this, she stopped short. It wasn’t just the dampened light, something wasn’t quite right. some of the plants didn’t glimmer. the buds looked smaller, sharper. the stalks looked a bit menacing.

Something was wrong.

Yves whirled, and hurried along the path to the outbuildings. the first person she came across, an established gardener named Roland, looked up in surprise as she rounded the corner, out of breath.

“Roland!” She puffed. “Something is wrong in the Anyeo fields!”

“Wrong?” Roland said.

“Yes! Some of the plants look different, like they’re dying or something.”

Roland’s brow crinkled. “Show me.”

So Yves and Roland found themselves back in the Aneyo fields, examining the crop. With the sun a bit higher, the difference between plants was stark. Some grew normally, their tender, pale yellow buds turning toward the sunlight. Others, growing in and around the normal Anyeo plants, were dull with only a hint of bud or growth.

Roland poked around the plants, stroking his beard and poking in the dirt around the rows of plants.

Finally, Roland spoke. “Hmmph, I’ve never seen this before. Let us take it to the Master.” Carefully donning a pair of gardening gloves, Roland snipped samples from each of the plants and wrapped them carefully in his handkerchief.

“Come,” he said, and so Roland and Yves set off to see the Master of Growing Things.

***

Later that morning, Roland and Yves found themselves in the main hall of the manor house. The late morning sun poured into the room from the paned glass windows up at the top. A stained-glass rosette over the heavy oak doors cast a brilliant blue patterns on the polished stone floors. Yves waited patiently. Roland could not help but pace back and forth, much to the chagrin of the guard on watch.

Finally, their names were called and this unlikely pair crossed the cavernous hall to the Master of Growing Things. He was seated on a high chair, but somehow looked friendly and accessible. Roland unfolded the handkerchief bundle containing the Anyeo and the not-Anyeo plants, and explained the situation quickly.

As he did, the Master’s face fell into a darker and darker countenance.

“Bring the plants to me,” he commanded.

Roland did so, bringing the little bundle before the high seat. The Master of Growing things bent over the seedlings for a great while. Then he looked up:

“It is as I feared,” he said. “An enemy has sown the seeds of the Dago plant in amongst the Anyeo.”

Yves let out an involuntary gasp. The Master of Growing Things looked her way. “Do not worry, my child. We will fix this.”

Roland snapped to attention. “My Lord,” he said, “let me gather the men. We will have the last Dago plant routed by sundown.”

The Master shook his head. “No, no,” he said.

Roland stopped short, crestfallen. “No?”

“If you rout out the Dago, you’ll disturb the roots of the Anyeo, which could impact a smaller, tougher harvest.”

“But sir, with the Dago mixed in there won’t BE a harvest!” Roland was indignant. He wanted to ACT. In the absence of marching over the mountains to take revenge on whoever (someone, anyone) who had done this act of violence on his field, he wanted to take out his anger on the Dago plants.

“Patience,” the Master said. “Let the two plants grow up together. As they grow, they will be even easier to distinguish. When the harvest comes, sort the crop. Bring the piles of Anyeo plant into my barns for Yves and the other weavers to prepare. Take the Dago plants to the edge of my lands and burn them.”

At once, Yves saw the wisdom of this plan. This way would cause the least harm to the tender growing Anyeo plants, and would be easy for the harvesters to carry out since the Dago had no sparkle or sheen.

She glanced at Roland, who blew out a breath very forcefully into his beard, but nodded. The Master clapped his hands together, and their audience was at an end.

***

And so it came to pass. The Anyeo and the Dago grew together in the field, peacefully with plenty of light and water. (Although Roland assigned a young man to watch each field by night.) As harvest time arrived, the Anyeo plants grew lighter and shimmerier, while the Dago plants grew darker and duller. It was quick work for the threshers to pull the Anyeo from the Dago, and toss the Dago unceremoniously into the firepits.

Yves and the other weavers transformed the raw Anyeo buds into works of art. The weavings from that year’s harvest were among the most beautiful ever seen.

The Reader: SUB PEWDIEPIE, loud restaurants, body transformations, and changes in the fashion sphere

I’ve been sick(ish) this weekend, and watching more YouTube than usual, so there’s some fatty videos at the end of this post. It’s one of those times when I can’t tell if this is a real upper respiratory infection, if my body is processing out yet another round of SIBO toxins, or if it’s something else—perhaps the physical manifestation of a mental transformation? Weird, I know. I still wonder. I’ve watched my mind and body chase each other around enough times that it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

Anyway, there’s lots of interesting stuff on the internet this week.

» Literally everybody is getting behind the SUB PEWDIEPIE campaign (btw, while you’re reading this, consider subscribing to Pewdiepie)

» The “Why I left Buzzfeed” of the beauty industry. Fashion and beauty editors are discovering the power of the personal brand, and are “defecting” to join the ranks of bloggers that they once railed so hard against.

Some editors say they ask their managers before agreeing to appear in a campaign or post sponsored content. Others say they often agree to work with brands and ask for forgiveness afterwards, especially if the brand is from outside their beat.

Steinherr did not ask for permission from Condé Nast to sign with the agency Storm Models in 2016, but she informed them afterwards and says the company was always supportive of her partnerships with third parties, which she identifies with “#ad.” “I have my own code of conduct,” she says. “I don’t find it difficult because I’m used to it — to say this is editorial, this is advertising — to me, there are no blurred lines.”

» From the other end, ROOKIE is shutting down. Tavi was a blogger who became the editorial establishment, so we’re kind of coming full circle.

» We all knew it was coming: CRISPR babies. Pray for these children.

» True confessions of a trans person. I appreciate the honesty, even though I can’t begin to wrap my head around how this is a good thing. Then again, I have spent my life getting my body to heal, so it’s unthinkable to deliberately inflict a wound upon myself.

» The media’s credibility is dead (but we already knew that)

» This one is long, but worth it (and funny to boot): On diet, health, and the wisdom of crowds

» Overly obsessed k-pop stalkers (sasaengs) are nightmare fuel

» Why restaurants are so loud (hint: you’ll see this pattern in other arenas as well)

The merger of fine and casual dining seems to show no signs of abating. As a result, even moderately quiet restaurants have become few and far between. Things have gotten so bad, there’s even an app for helping potential diners find quieter places to eat. The culinary establishment once aimed to dismantle the stuffiness and high cost of dining out by blurring the line between casual and fine dining, eliminating classist dress codes, and make dining a more collective experience. But ironically, that democratization of eating out has produced a new and more hidden tyranny: making people tolerate unhealthy, distracting noise for good food—and then duping them into spending more, drinking more (along with the risk of vulnerable situations that can result from alcohol), and shouting over the din to socialize. By comparison, the worst thing that could happen at one of the upscale establishments of old was using the wrong fork or running afoul of the dress code.

» Reverse Foundation tutorial…but really an interesting ramble on personal beauty.

 

» I like how Gabbie Hanna describes the process of change. It’s never linear, and always includes setbacks. The mental transformation is the toughest part. If you’re going through any sort of major change, you might find this helpful.

 

» Gary Vaynerchuk always provides food for thought (edited slightly for clarity):

There’s a reason that people are struggling mentally, and I’m telling you: everybody wants to blame social media. It’s bullshit. It’s parents creating fake environments for children. We’re building zoo animals. When you take a tiger from the Bronx zoo and you put it in the actual jungle, he dies in one second—because he’s not grown up in the actual environment.

You take kids who think they’re good at baseball, because in school up until 12th grade everybody’s good, and then you actually go and play baseball and get struck out 900 times in a row, you go back to your dorm room and start doing cocaine.

“Oh come on, Gary, it doesn’t work like that.”

That’s exactly how it works. …

Creating fake environments is an issue that needs to talked about much more. “[Don’t create] fake environments” doesn’t mean be mean, just don’t create delusion.

Sailed on a river of crystal light

This poem has stuck with me since childhood.

 

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod

Eugene Field

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
Into a sea of dew.
“Where are you going, and what do you wish?”
The old moon asked the three.
“We have come to fish for the herring-fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we,”
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
That lived in the beautiful sea.
“Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
Never afraid are we!”
So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home:
‘Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
As if it could not be;
And some folk thought ‘twas a dream they’d dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea;
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one’s trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

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