Batfort

Style reveals substance

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On Being a Nomad

I like to joke that I’ve been homeless since October 27.

Strictly speaking, that’s not true, since my parents have always offered to take me in during the lean times (and it’s their couch that I’m sitting on as I’m writing this).

Airbnb has also been great.

It’s not so much that I haven’t had a place to stay, but that I haven’t had my own place to stay. All of my stuff has been packed in a trailer for the last month. It’s not a bad thing–just a byproduct of the moving process–but has provided some interesting moments as of late.

  • Oooh, I can’t wait to start decorating for Christmas…with the decorations that are packed somewhere.
  • My new-to-me car will only play audio CDs. I can burn some of my music…with the blank CDs that are packed somewhere.
  • I need to clean my brush with a brush-scrubber….that’s packed somewhere.
  • It’s getting colder and I could make the perfect outfit with…the sweater that is packed somewhere.
  • Let’s cook a steak on my cast iron pan…that’s packed somewhere.

Basically everything is packed and so my plans are all half-baked.

If I were to be a true nomad, I’d sell or give away most of my stuff so that I never had those thoughts. All the things I needed would be with me at all times.

There would be no decorating for Christmas or burning of CDs, or any of that.

“Living out of a suitcase” would become merely “living.”

Talk about rootless. It works for some people.

I’m not yet ready for that life.

Christmas Fireplace Edit

It’s that time of year again, where our collective unconscious seizes us with the desire to snuggle under festive quilts and drink candy-cane-bedazzled hot chocolate out of Santa mugs by the fire.

Thanks to the wonders of modern architecture, most of us don’t have fireplaces. We turn, then, to the next best thing: Youtube.

This leads to a host of other problems. There are approximately 70 gorillion “fireplace with Christmas music” videos on Youtube, of varying quality. When one is in the mood to snuggle up, one does not want to wade through 69 gorillion videos to find the ones that are actually viable.

My friend, your problems are solved, courtesy of my brother.

This right here is the greatest of them all:

Features:

  • Actual fire footage with a fadeout loop
  • 2 and change hours long
  • 13 different Christmas songs, on repeat (which you probably won’t notice because you’ll be paying attention to something else)
  • Excellent arrangements, both orchestral and choral
  • No horrible synthesizers
  • Fireplace sounds, including popping (with sparks) and logs shifting
  • Just fireplace, no extra “Christmas room” effects
  • Will work best in a dark room but not out of place in the daylight

Bookmark this guy and you’re all set for the next time that the snow starts falling lightly from the sky, and you happen to have a blanket and a good book at hand.

And hey, if you hate Christmas music, you could always stare intensely at a rotating pizza.

Image of the week: random phone edition

I’m sure that if you’re anything like me, you save various amusing or informative pics from Twitter when they swim across your timeline.

Maybe you saw this one recently.

It made me chuckle.

It makes you laugh, because it’s a visual representation of the obvious joke that pointing out the truth (it’s okay to be white), is heresy to the modern orthodoxy.

But then, I start to think about how much of a “church” social justice has become. I start to think about the Catholic church before the reformation. How hierarchical it was. How corrupt it was. How obsessed with appearances it was.

It’s hard to think of SJWism as a “church,” because it is so loosely structured and doesn’t run our society in name. It certainly runs our society in many areas, and tries to squeeze itself into the areas that it hasn’t yet taken over. But it’s not institutionalized, not in the same way that the church was, so it’s easy to overlook. Or dismiss away.

The cardinals of SJWism don’t all wear the same fancy robes, nor do the acolytes. Rank-and-file SJWs tend to have distinctive modes of dress (the Tumblrina, the Soyboy, the Antifa), but the higher ranked officials often skate by because they look like every other globalist cuck politician.

The victim mentality also goes a great deal of effort to convince us that they’re the victims, of course they aren’t in charge or exerting any tyranny of the minority.

Other people have written more and better about SJWs than I ever will, but it’s fun to think about sometimes.

New (to me) design choices in the sports arena

As an old millennial,  the motion graphics that I grew up with were clunky, low-res, and…frankly, I was old enough to remember when channels started displaying the score of the game onscreen while the game was going on. As that idea evolved, graphics tended to mimic those found on network TV news–self-consciously 3D, lots of gradients and unnecessary moving parts.

In some ways, the graphics on TV sports games were the flashy sports cars of the design world.

Nowadays, I rarely watch sports-related programming on TV. Or streaming. Or in any way, really. The last time I sought any programming out for myself was when the Seahawks wore head-to-toe highlighter green during a game sometime last year. That was fun.

So it is really strange to be home with my folks and see flat, gradient-free design on ESPN2.

It makes sense that hipster graphic designers need jobs, and get jobs with sports-related entities just as much as they get job for music companies and fashion brands, but it is just weird to my eyes to see a more modern, clean, simply, flat, bold approach to design for football- and basketball-related material.

I’m happy to see some simplicity on the TV screen.

It’s also interesting to watch the “trickle down effect” in play in visual graphics. (AND THEY SAID IT WOULDN’T WORK.)

That said, it doesn’t feel like the people who watch sports are also the ones who would appreciate minimalist or clever design. Sports, to me, should be fairly like a sports car–functional, refined, a bit flashy.

Unlike a boutique fashion publication, the focus shouldn’t be on the design work (or on figuring out which school’s logo you’re looking at), but on the sports events themselves.

Good thing the gradient hasn’t totally disappeared:

Hah.

An Incomplete List of Things I’m Thankful For

Since it’s that time of year and all.

  • My new job that pays adult money
  • The car that was gifted to me at the perfect time
  • The safety and wellbeing of my family and extended family
  • K-pop
  • The new apartment that I’m beyond excited to start living in
  • The unexpected skincare bonus in the no-makeup foundation I just started using
  • The actual, real bodily healing that has resulted from my carnivore adventures
  • Jesus Christ, the resolver of paradoxes and firstborn from among the dead
  • MY LACK OF PSORIASIS, WHAT (see also: carnivore)
  • The fact that this is my blog and so I am not bound by the AP Stylebook or any other style–I can do what I want
  • How much less stress there is in my life now
  • Smallish regional chain stores that stock the best goods
  • Raw-milk cheese (see also: carnivore)
  • The rad Adidas hoodie that I’m wearing right now that kinda makes me feel like a superathletic medieval princess, courtesy of the employee discount provided by my previous employer
  • YouTube
  • Ears to hear, eyes to see, wisdom to discern
  • And, sleep.

With that, I bid you adieu and goodnight.

The necessity of charm

A few last thoughts on The Perfectly Imperfect Home.

I’d never thought about graciousness being a component of home decorating, but now that it’s been brought up, it makes a lot of sense: “Why bother with a quaint relic of a time when people communicated principally by letters? This is why: because like lunch on the lawn or a candlelit dinner, sitting down at a proper little table is entirely gracious. It is about the necessity of charm.”

We like to be charmed. A little charm in our lives means that there’s enough extra energy and thought to be channeled into something that’s not quite practical.

Another passage that charmed me is this one describing the philosophical differences between schools of decorating:

The stern Sister Parish used to engage in a practice her employees termed “traying” in which she went around a new client’s house with a tray scooping up all the tchotchkes, figurines, bibelots, and knickknacks she deemed superfluous. Tough, but necessary. If it’s not beautiful, useful, or meaningful, you might as well lose it. And then the arranging can begin.

Decorators obsess over how to wield our decorative objets. On the frontlines of style, the tablescapers face off against the tchotchkeyites. The tablescaping aesthete believes in clustering like objects together to create a strong visual statement, while the savvyless tchotchkeyite tends to disseminate objects all around the room, diminishing their impact and creating a sense of bitsyness.

One can–almost–see in the authors description of the tablescaping aesthete a purpose for figurines and other decorative objects. I can see my own antipathy to figurines in her description of the savvyless tchotchkeyites.

This passage almost–almost–has me convinced to hunt down a motherload of knickknacks with which to decorate my tables.

After all, a tablescape without its decorative objects is nothing.

10 Terrible Ways to Meet People in a New Town

Sometimes, we introverts need a kick in the pants to meet other people. This is a terrible list, but at least it’ll inspire some ideas.

  1. Steal someone’s dog and hang out at a dog park
  2. Stage a breakdown of your car in only entrance the parking lot of the busiest supermarket
  3. Volunteer to chaperone a middle school dance
  4. Sign up to teach a class in an area far outside your expertise
  5. Crowdsurf at the local _______ festival [insert regional crop of choice]
  6. Walk in front of a moving vehicle and pretend to be hurt
  7. Rake leaves in other people’s yards. Bonus points for “No Trespassing” or “Beware of Dog.”
  8. Open mic night, but read your online dating profile(s)
  9. Make a fort out of books at the local library
  10. No matter where you are, open your window and yell “WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?” at everyone who passes by.

See? It’s easy. You’ll have friends in no time.

#YoureWelcome

Reactionary Fashion vs Revolutionary Fashion

No further words needed. Thank you /pol/, courtesy of Peter Duke.

(Also, LOL Martin Luther)

Cattiness in the fashion industry (quelle surprise)

I’m not sure what’s funnier, the fact that the fashion girls at Vogue are picking apart the fashion choices of the new editor of Vanity Fair, or the fact that Women’s Wear Daily and the New York Post are trying to meme it into existence.

“She seemed nervous. The outfit was interesting,” the staffer noted. According to the fashion editor — who omitted Jones’ admirable literary accomplishments from conversation — the incoming editor wore a navy shiftdress strewn with zippers, a garment deemed as “iffy” at best.

Jones’ choice of hosiery proved most offensive, according to the editor. For the occasion, Jones had chosen a pair of tights — not in a neutral black or gray as is common in the halls of Vogue — but rather a pair covered with illustrated, cartoon foxes.

The animal caricatures may have also been too much for Vogue editor in chief and Condé Nast artistic director Anna Wintour, who is said to have fixed one of her trademark stoic glares upon Jones’ hosiery throughout the duration of the staff meeting.

Do we expect fashion people to be catty, so thus they appear to be so? Regardless of what they actually do. As in, does the reporter at WWD report on reactions in this way because that’s what she expects to find, and she knows she’s writing to an audience that also expects it?

Or are fashion people really this way naturally? Without such behavior, we wouldn’t have the expectation.

It’s an interesting thought, something so completely trivial as what one staffer said about someone else’s clothes, but the interference of the article makes me wonder about how much the media has to do with memeing other scandals into being.

Using their power to draw attention to something that otherwise would have gone unnoticed.

I think, for example, the author of the WWD piece wanted to flaunt her feminist cred but contrasting the reactions to the new, female editor to the reactions (or lack thereof) of the departing, male editor:

The fashion editor did not remark on Carter’s outfit for the occasion. After 25 years at Vanity Fair’s helm, he walks away from the job with a vibrant legacy that is noted, not for his signature wonk hairstyle, but rather his wrangling of A-list celebrities and publishing of writers including Christopher Hitchens and Dominick Dunne.

However, even a tacked-on feminist ending doesn’t overshadow the meat of the article, which is catty fashion bitches doing what catty fashion bitches do best — ending up in the gossip pages.

And isn’t that the exact opposite of what feminists want to portray themselves as?

Funny, in this case, drawing attention to the situation creates the exact opposite effect as I bet the author wanted.

Image of the week: skywriting edition

It used to be my longstanding policy that if I ever became Supreme Dictator for Life, the only acceptable skywriting would read “SURRENDER DOROTHY.”

However.

I will make an exception to that policy for the first thing that made me laugh today. This, right here:

I’m leaving in the boomercropping because it also brings me lulz

Apparently some Navy pilots in the Okanogan got really, really bored today.

There’s probably some larger point (heh) in there somewhere about trolls and discipline and the state of our country, but I’m going to ignore it and giggle and peace out for the night.

Happy Friday, y’all.

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