Batfort

Style reveals substance

Category: About the Author (page 7 of 8)

It’s my 100th post!

Quite a few days ago now (but not quite 100), I made the decision to post every day on this blog. No matter how long or how short, it didn’t matter what happened that day: I needed to post. So far, I’ve kept that promise to myself.

I’ve noticed some changes in that time. It’s not as difficult to squeeze out 300 words after a long day, and sometimes many more words seem to spring out of my fingers. My posts are starting to suck less, although they’re far, far away from where I’d like them to be. Occasionally I post original content. There’s even a few people who stop by. (Hello!)

I’m not restricting myself to one type of content, although I do have a general direction in mind for where this blog could go. We’ll see what happens — I’m excited for the future.

So here’s to the next 100 posts. May they be full of reason, creativity, and beautiful imagery.

Salary commensurate with qualifications and experience

Of all the strange things that surround job hunting, this is one of the most frustrating.

“Yes, we expect you to put your best effort into applying for this job, but we won’t tell you if the salary range we’re anticipating in the budget will cover your monthly expenses should you get it. Make it work!”

I feel like this could be a beloved insight from everyone’s favorite Associate Dean.

Salad Days

It’s one of those days. You know what I mean. It wasn’t a bad day, but nothing went quite as planned. I’m a little discombobulated and a lot tired, sitting at my desk. It’s 11:52 pm. I’m eating prosciutto out of the carton and have no idea what to write.

Solution: I’ll name this post “salad days,” after the chapters in L.M. Montgomery books in which she strung together a bunch of journal entries from one of her heroines in order to signify time passing and convey a lot of small, random life updates.

Without further ado:

  • Today marks the end of my 3rd month eating only animal products. Moving forward, I need to continue to whittle out dairy and see what happens. Interesting side note: I had previously thought that I was eating too much fat in general, but it may be that I was eating too much cheese in general. Sad for me, because I love cheese, but probably good for my insides.
  • Not sure what day we’re on for the water-only washing method, but my hair is adapting nicely. I’ve been rinsing nearly every morning in the shower, and some days I can wear my hair down all day. The key is to comb out my hair every night before bed. I’m taking a page from someone on YouTube and bought some Orange Blossom Water (she used rosewater; I’m happy with the Orange Blossom because it has an element of bitterness to balance out the floral perfume) to spray on my hair and make it smell delicious. That’s one downside of not using haircare products: nothing goes in your hair to make it smell nice.
  • I’ve made steps toward a motivated mastermind group. Plans (real, live, executable plans) are in the works. This is probably why I didn’t sleep so well last night. My mind was too busy planning. In related news, sleep remains the most difficult thing to get in my quest for health.
  • This artwork for the making-of version of Taeyang’s White Night album:

From the archives: Illuminated Letters

Yesterday’s post of advice from the point of view of an illustrator got me thinking about what it would be like to be a freelance illustrator. It’s easy to romanticize that kind of life (the ~bohemian artist~ ideal) when you’re not stuck in the hustle and grind of the day-to-day.

It’s also easy to overlook the fact that it takes YEARS to get good at what you do. The smart ones of us start early. The dumb ones of us take 9 years into an office career to realize that administration is slowly killing our souls. (Ahem.)

One of the things that brought me great joy during a dark winter a few years ago was inking postcard-sized illuminated letters. I would work on these in my little studio apartment after dinner, sketching and erasing and painting with india ink.

The final product was more polished in my memory (that’s the problem with doing things in the real world–they never quite live up to your own expectations) but I’m still fairly happy with them. I realize in retrospect that there’s merit in using art supplies the way they were designed to be used. For instance, I used ink like watercolor. It probably would have worked better if I had used actual watercolor.

Overall I still like the idea. I’d love to explore what might happen if we ask the question “What if Edward Gorey did illuminated letters?” The combination of gothic style with Medieval symbolism could be really fun.

I’ve been plotting to break out my art supplies again, to get some ink under my fingernails. I dragged my work table out from storage and set it up in my bedroom, so I have dedicated space for projects. Tomorrow I’ll be stopping by an art supply store for better pencils and some inking pens and possibly a tiny kit of watercolors.

Art supply stores are dangerously full of possibilities. We’ll see what awaits on the other side.

Off Balance

I’m still trying to digest the events of the weekend. Even though I’ve known about, and almost celebrated the differences between, the factions on the “far right,” the Charlottesville Rally — even moreso than the Alt-Riech’s dumbass shenanigans before — has drawn up higher stakes for everyone.

Embed from Getty Images
I feel much like Melania’s hair looks here. This is the first time I’ve seen her change up her hairstyle (other than the occasional updo). The side part doesn’t look bad; on the contrary, it’s nice to see her switch things up and try something different.

Her customary blowout gets the job done, with a center part and the sides blow-dried flat and away from her face. It’s expected, classy, and goes with just about anything.

Again, it’s expected.

Fortunately for us, nobody dies when Melania changes her hair.

No potential future is in jeopardy because she decided to straighten instead of curl.

When the winds change on the right wing, it takes a while to reorient because we have no infrastructure. When some idiot gives a bad photo op or legit makes a mistake, it strikes relatively deeper because we have fewer battalions of useful idiots to absorb or diffuse the blow.

Maybe I’m so off-kilter because I’m disillusioned. People I thought were reasoned, decently principled thinkers turn out to be knee-jerk reactionaries, or shit-tier trolls. No strategic thinking, no long-term goals. No good for a better future.

Meanwhile, the more moderate faction is showing all the brains…but I’m not convinced they won’t get eaten alive by Antifa and/or the mainstream media before they can do any actual good.

All the while the wolf is snarling outside the door.

 

Unite the Right and Style

Well I was going to write a really stupid, lighthearted post critiquing people’s outfits at the Charlottesville “Unite the Right” rally today.

I should have known better.

Of course it was going to be attacked by Antifa, and of course the Alt-Lite would use this as yet another excuse to punch right, and (not of course) people died there today. The political violence has finally escalated to the point where people are dying. That makes my plans for a post that boils down to “LOL WHY DID THESE GUYS PICK POLO SHIRTS THEY LOOK LIKE SUCH DORKS BUT AT LEAST THEY’RE OUR GUYS” seem really petty and obnoxious and tone deaf in comparison.

Funny how an event that was supposed to be about unity has caused even more fractures amongst right-leaning groups.

What good could possibly come of a post like that?

I know that the culture wars are real, and that politics is downstream of culture, and that to have any hope of surviving, the right needs to get itself together in terms of culture.

When I try to talk to regular conservatives about how I don’t care so much about gay marriage or abortion rights as I do about economic policy and border security, I usually go with an analogy about not caring about the color of the drapes when the house is on fire. Being worried about bailing technique when the boat is sinking. Rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Whatever.

So writing about visual things, about fashion and style, and all of that fluffy stuff that doesn’t really matter seems to be a complete waste of time.

But then I remember that sometimes it’s the lighthearted things that people latch onto first.

That our manner of dress and writing, the way we design our buildings and workspaces, our style of living reflects our mindset and worldview.

That people sometimes change from the inside-out, but often change from the outside-in, and the fluffy visual trappings can help with that process.

That we’re always told, “If you don’t find what you want to read, write it yourself.” (I’d rather just read it, but here I am anyway.)

My goal is to bridge aesthetics and Truth, anyway. I believe that Truth is somewhere right of what’s currently “center.” Where exactly, I don’t know yet.

This latest bubbling-up of right-leaning people who are willing to fight is encouraging, and they’ve gone so far a to get someone like Trump elected president. But there’s still time for them to go the way of the Tea Party. I hope that never happens, but one never knows.

And I’m sitting here worried that I’m not doing the right thing, when this blog is still 100% obscure so it doesn’t really matter LMAO.

What idiots we humans are!

Structured Journaling

I’m having one of those days where I am having a difficult time stringing thoughts together. It’s a tough place to be writing a blog post, because the likelihood of words coming out of my fingers in a jumbled mass of incoherence will quickly reach 100%. So, in order to stave off complete chaos and start my own exploration into the creation of a daily journal in the style of a Keel’s “Simple Diary,” I will simply record my answers here.


 

Your day was (only choose one)

(  ) a volcano.

(X) down the drain.

(  ) a fountain.

Explain why: Hard to concentrate at work, frittered away a lot of time, didn’t sleep well last night, my leaky guts leaked a little more than usual. It’s a day that’s ready to flush.

 

You are too realistic about: The fact that Crohn’s disease can never be cured.

And does it make you proud? 

(  ) Yes

(X) No

 

Life is uncomfortable.

 

Who gets away with it? The people who never do the work but show up at the end.

You believe you have changed.

(  ) Yes

(X) No

Who has nothing? The incurious.

Why do people like changes? Because we think that external changes will spark an internal change.

The dark side of “systems not goals”

@fortelabs posted quite a good tweetstorm on twitter today.

He goes on:

It involves generating lots of “non-negotiable” requirements that you “must” do before you can do what you want to do. As in, “Before I do X everybody knows I have to do A, B,C,D, E, F, G, etc.” It’s clever because it sets up an unlosable game. If you fail, you can blame immediate steps for putting the goal out of reach. If you reach X but it took too long, you’re justified because you “followed the correct process.”

There’s more–and I highly recommend clicking through and reading the whole thing–but this sums up the basic premise.

I recognize myself in it. Like, way too much.

“Before I start writing Batfort I need to hone my writing skills and learn how to be disciplined to do something every day and get a real camera and sketch out a whole editorial and business plan and and and”

“Before I can get a car I need to get a new job that pays better and live in a place where parking doesn’t suck and and and”

“Before I can be healthy I need to stop eating carbs and sleep 8 hours a night and stop worrying so much and exercise more regularly and and and”

“Before I can date that attractive man, I need to get a car…”

You get the drill.

It is SO EASY to use the guise of “building a plan” and “doing your research” as an excuse to do nothing of consequence. Yes, plans and research are necessary, but they are not DOING THE WORK. It’s frittering away time and creative energy on small-potatoes things that feel just productive enough that we don’t realize that all of the sudden we ate an entire bag of chips for dinner.

Do that enough times in a row, and you’re going to feel sick.

With all respect to Scott Adams, I have a negative reaction to his “systems, not goals” approach to life. For the longest time I could never figure out why, exactly, but I think this is it.

If you bury yourself in systems, even good ones like going to the gym every day, without having a goal that you’re pushing yourself toward, it’s really easy to settle into the groove of the system. The system becomes your end product, instead of what you designed this system to move you toward.

You work your muscles, but don’t get stronger or build out some sweet pecs.

Sure, goals don’t always work out. There are things that are beyond our control. That’s life.

The resilient pick up, dust off, and keep going. The antifragile incorporate those lessons into their next attempt.

You set a new goal, and move on.

A system alone won’t work: you need something to work toward.

Goals alone won’t work either: you need daily practices to propel you toward them.

Get you a plan that can do both.

Thoughts on compliments from your boss

Scott Adams taught me a neat trick a while back, when he thought he was teaching a persuasive technique.

He did teach it to me (it may have been the fake “because”), but he also taught me something much more valuable.

Good persuasion is effective even when you know it’s persuasion.

Some of us human beings are just self-aware enough to be able to step back and observe ourselves being persuaded, when we recognize the opportunity.

Some of his posts still finish with fake-because taglines for his book. This technique is that powerful, even when the reasons are totally nonsensical. Sometimes, I almost fall for them (despite having already read his book).

Even though my rational brain knows that it’s fake, and can appreciate the artistry of the technique, my lizard brain wants to click the link BECAUSE something good is on the other side.

Now, that’s the setup.

Here’s the application.

Recently I had my annual performance review at my day job. 

My bosses had nothing but positive things to say. The word “eloquent” was used (and that is an especial compliment for your dear blog hostess, who has studied rhetoric extensively). They recognized my “unique skillset.”

I canst tell a lie: it felt good.

Really good.

But I could feel that little niggle–that same little niggle that makes me want to click through to buy Scott Adams’ book even though I have already read it.

All those compliments were acting as powerful persuasion.

It’s dangerous, I know, to get a lot of validation from your day job. It’s a very fragile position to be in. But I don’t get a lot of compliments these days, and it felt (and still feels) pretty good.

Good enough to settle down and keep my same job for couple-few years?

That’s what they want from me.

But is that what I want from them?

We’ll see.

So thank you, Scott Adams, for teaching me how to recognize my very own persuasion “tells.” I feel like I’ve just avoided some sort of cognitive honeypot.

The truth hurts

Especially when you most need to hear it. 

It’s not fear of success. That’s not a real thing. 

It’s attachment to bullshit. It’s the desire to be a child with no responsibilities.

I have plans. Ambitions. But I won’t get there without work. And taking up responsibilities. And becoming truly my mature self.

It’s easier to run from these things, which I have been doing. Ducking, dodging, hiding.

It’s time to run toward the things I want, the things that scare me. The things that are bigger than me that I don’t know how to wrangle.

Yet.

I will learn. Surely I will stumble sometimes, but I will rise and try again.

I will put away childish things.

I will run this race.

And win.

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