There’s a saying around my parts of the internet: “If you’re taking flak, you know you’re over the target.”

Well.

A spurt of articles cropped up this week warning us all of the dangers of only eating meat. At one point I would have said it was a conspiracy, but at this point I think it’s just a knee-jerk reaction from the parts of the universe that are a) just now hearing about carnivory and b) no conception of living a life that isn’t what they’re told to live.

Here is a good place to remind you that carnivores tend to have a higher-than-average tolerance for risk.

Here is also a good place to remind you that I have yet to find an instance of a carnivore with scurvy. At this point, if somebody had the balls to stick with this diet long enough to get scurvy at all, they’d surely post about it. (If only for the clicks.)

Now I wish that a media figure would do it: quit plans out of spite to give himself scurvy and prove us all wrong, only to find out 12 months later that he’s healthy, happier than ever, and in possession of a spine for the first time in his life.

Anyway.

I’m not interested in debunking the nutrition science of the articles–that’s not my jam. There are plenty of other blogs that cover the nutrition stuff.

I’m much more interested in the rhetoric and mindset techniques. Once you see how they do it in one article, you start seeing it everywhere.

Jordan Peterson Says Meat Cured His Depression. Now His Daughter Will Tell You How It Healed Her Too — For A Fee.

You don’t even have to get past the headline on this one to run into a fallacy:

• Capitalism is bad and anybody who is trying to sell you something is lying

What’s going on is Mikhaila Peterson is now offering online consultations, and expecting to be compensated for her time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, especially when a lot of people want to talk to you, and you have to figure out some way of mediating that.

The same people will tell you to go see a therapist. But it’s ok to pay a therapist because they’ll keep you within the medical system.

Sentence number one: “Mikhaila Peterson eats beef three times a day. She fries or roasts it, adds some salt, and washes it down with sparkling water — and that’s it. No fruits or vegetables. Just meat.”

Notice the word choice. FRIES.

Sure, if you’re putting a steak into a frying pan, you’re frying it. But does anybody really refer to cooking a steak as frying? No. “Frying” conjures up associations with deep frying: lots of grease and heavy, unhealthy food. (Which in itself is a slander of a good deep fry.)

Most carnivore steaks are cooked up in a cast-iron skillet with some butter. If you want to call that frying, whatever.

Then we launch into more attacks on making money: “She said she simply can’t afford to blog all the time, while raising a child, for free. (Her husband is a business consultant.)”

Why, exactly, is her husband’s profession relevant to this conversation? Unless you’re trying to imply that her husband is pushing her to make money like the dirty capitalist shark he is. Mikhaila is very up front about her intention with the consultations, and it’s definitely not along the lines of “snake oil salesman take your money and run.”

Now it’s time for battle of the inane expert quotes from people who are 200% vested in keeping their spot in the top of the expertise hierarchy.

“I don’t see any health benefits of a diet focused primarily on red meat,” said Kristen Smith, a registered dietitian nutritionist with the Academy of Nutritionists and Dietetics, who said she’s seen the carnivore diet’s popularity grow on social media. “There’s currently no research to support that this type of diet has favorable long-term health outcomes.”

vs

“Especially for somebody who’s untrained and not very knowledgeable, I think it’s dangerous for her to be pushing this as a lifestyle,” said Ethan Weiss, a cardiologist at the University of California, San Francisco. “People are very impressionable, especially people who are sick and they want to be better, and they’ll try anything. I worry that this kind of thing is taking advantage of some people who are really struggling.”

There’s that word again. Dangerous. I think I’ve heard that word spoken about her family before….

Anyway, we have two arguments from medical authority that warn us to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. We also have a lot of unspoken assumptions:

1. I can’t see the benefits so obviously they don’t exist
2. Only peer reviewed research is valid and you should never listen to anybody’s story, especially not when the stories repeat themselves
3. Only approved authorities are allowed to push things as a lifestyle
4. You’re not smart enough to think for yourself
5. Someone selling a $75/hour consultation is totally taking advantage of people

I’m getting tired of this article. It’s not all bad–a pretty good primer of carnivory if you overlook all of the DON’T GO OFF THE PATH messaging.

Please do not try to survive on an all-meat diet

This next article is funny in the pity-laugh kind of way. The author either cannot fathom the idea of doing something out of the norm, or is heavily handedly trying to scare you away from doing it, too. Or maybe both.

First of all, we have to revoke all shreds of authority from the people on Team Carnivore. The standard arguments: Shawn Baker’s medical license was revoked (he was reinstated), neither is Mikahila Peterson isn’t a real doctor (she never said she was), and psychologists like Jordan Peterson have no training in nutrition (neither do doctors, FYI).

This line kills it:

• Mikhaila Peterson reportedly had arthritis—now she doesn’t (or at least, she thinks she doesn’t, and that’s really what counts when it comes to pain management).

No, hun. Not just arthritis. Rheumatoid arthritis–an autoimmune condition that caused her joints to deteriorate so badly she had two joint replacements by the age of 20. For those of you out there who are unfamiliar with the relentless darkness that comes with having an incurable illness, it has a HUGE impact on daily life. This isn’t just “tee hee I stubbed my toe,” this is life-altering levels of pain.

The article goes on to “debunk” in nutritional terms why the carnivore diet is totally bad for you.

I’m just gonna list my favorite words and phrases.

• totally forego flora
• your microbiome seems to impact everything
• most of which fad-dieters are not consuming
• Red meat is problematic
• Nutritionists like Teresa Fung, who also served on a panel of experts evaluating diets for U.S. News & World Report, are scared
• which can be especially problematic
• seem to generally be better for you
• could get pretty monotonous
• make it hard to find random things to snack on throughout the day
• Pretty much any extreme diet is going to be problematic

Except for this paragraph. This one is my favorite.

You could, arguably, take supplements for all of the deficiencies that eating only farm-raised animals brings on. Many of the diet proponents, including all of the people mentioned earlier in this article, do not promote taking supplements because they believe that meat is nutritionally complete. But if you were being smart about it you could certainly improve the diet by adding vitamin pills and fiber powder. Neither of these is as good as getting those nutrients from real, whole foods, but it’s better than nothing.

I do get my nutrients from real, whole foods.

Those foods are meat and eggs.

What are you gonna do about it?