Batfort

Style reveals substance

Month: November 2017 (page 3 of 3)

Photo of the week: I hate dating edition

Today’s photo of the week is brought to you by Tinder.

Yes, Tinder, the app where horny boys and girls (and the occasional sane person) go to be picky and judgmental.

As a new person in a new town with no friends, I don’t have much to do in the evenings, so I’ve been on Tinder a bit more often than usual.

And sometimes, when I forget that I need to swipe left on 99.99999999% of guys, I get absolutely inundated with messages.

Basically the digital version of this:

Girl, just chilling in a big ol’ sweater, surrounded by guys who are all contemplating swooping in for the kill but who are juuuust beta enough to not do anything about it.

Jack further comments “she’s a hostage.”

Honestly, that’s how Tinder feels most of the time. You start a conversation with a guy thinking he might be interesting, but it turns out that all he wants to do is send you Ron Burgundy gifs and talk about how good you look in that outfit in your profile pic. But it’s not just one guy, it’s five or six or ten guys at a time.

Which, it’s Tinder, so what do you expect really.

The point is, it’s the online equivalent of being trapped talking to a drunk, handsy guy at a bar. There’s not a great way to extract yourself from the situation without “being a bitch,” yet the longer you stay, the more miserable you become.

This is why I don’t date much, why I’m still single, and why I mostly prefer my own company — I have yet to find a romantic high that is worth the slog.

Mostly I’m waiting for that red pill guy to come along, and the depressing reality is that the world is full of normies.

Melania wears a costume in China

I started compiling this post determined to make a “reduce reuse recycle” joke about Melania’s outfit choices in China.

Turns out they’re completely different outfits.

Embed from Getty Images

I can, however, feel fashion bloggers wincing at the matchiness between the deep fur cuffs and the stilettos. That is a hallmark of Melania’s style at this point. Not much jewelry, very simple silhouettes, and matchiness.

This is the most embellished dress I can recall her wearing. Interestingly, her outfits in Poland and France were also relatively more colorful and embellished. I wonder why she allows her clothes more visual interest overseas?

The unexpected embellishment adds to the feeling of costume, along with the silhouettes that are not typical Melaniawear. The stilettos help tie each look back to what she typically looks like.

Embed from Getty Images

While I’m slowly getting on board with the matchiness idea — some people are just like that — the thing I don’t understand is why she wore two outfits that include the same visual elements on the same trip. She knows that she’s going to be photographed, so I truly don’t understand the decision to wear two outfits that are so similar. It’s harder to distinguish between one event and the other, and it’s an opening for criticism.

The other thing is that black and baby pink really aren’t her colors. She does really well with warmer colors, and browns. Strong colors, not icy ones.

Thinking back on what I’ve written, it strikes me that I don’t know any of the context behind these wardrobe choices. Perhaps they were created by Chinese designers specifically for her visit. Perhaps the fashion industry is being big enough bitches that she’s having a difficult time finding options. I don’t know.

Is it worth finding out?

On the other hand, the images have to stand on their own. That includes the “art direction” inside of the images, which includes wardrobe.

Strengths

A few weeks ago I splurged, and in a fit of “I can do anything business is so great” feel-good rays, I bought the Strengths Finder book and assessment.

Funnily enough (#NoCoincidences), it was one of the books waiting in my new office, along with Mere Christianity.

I took the quiz under the influence of a strategic-project high, so I suspect the results are a bit more skewed to the heady intellectual side (or maybe I’m just more out of touch than I thought).

Anyhow, I’m hoping that writing them out will help me leverage these to bend my new job to my will and to fit my strengths, but also to put them to work accomplishing my other goals.

Here are my strengths:

  1. Strategic
  2. Learner
  3. Intellection
  4. Analytical
  5. Ideation

In my normal overthinking style, I have a rebuttal. It occurs to me that my instinctual reaction to this list is basically…this list.

  1. I certainly don’t feel strategic (but that really doesn’t mean anything)
  2. This is true. I love to learn. I live to learn.
  3. …guilty. I live in my head.
  4. I think I’m fairly analytical, but I’m not as data-oriented as, say, most data analysts. I believe that data should inform, but not dictate. The logic, however, must be sound.
  5. SHUT UP I LIKE IDEAS OKAY?

Maybe it’s not so wrong after all?

That said, it’s still just another filter on truth, and not Truth itself. A list of “strengths” is not the same as the mind, body, and spirit of me.

Clearly, to give my brain something to chew on, I need to get back into reading old books and keeping up on news. Finding an intellectual group of friends with which to have conversations would not, then, be an indulgence, but an essential opportunity for growth and development.

100% Carnivore Meatloaf Recipe

Ok friends. This is the food that I’ve been subsisting on for most of the last month.

It’s not ribeye steaks or even beef roasts, although many carnivores will tell you that they subsist mainly on these things. I’ve found that my own personal leaky, scarred-up, overly bacteria infested gut likes ground meat much more than whole cuts.

Ground beef certainly isn’t as sexy as a good NY strip steak, but I’m more interested in “healing” than in sexy at this point.

Anyway, I finally hit on a good balance of fat/lean and beef/non-beef that doesn’t make my ankles swell and that’s versatile enough to eat for lunch and dinner and sometimes breakfast.

This meatloaf is good both hot and cold, and it’s also delicious if you shingle bacon over the top of it before you cook it. When I’m in a permanent dwelling, I’ll cook up a few batches in 11×13″ pans. When I’m in an Airbnb, I’ll grab some disposable aluminum roasting pans and line them with foil (so they can be reused).

Carnivore Meatloaf

Serves 1, usually a day’s worth of eating

Ingredients

2 pounds 80/20 ground beef

1 pound 80/20 ground pork

Salt to taste (I like Hawaiian red sea salt the best because it brings out the pork flavor, but use whatever you have on hand)

Method

Preheat the oven to 425.

Put ground beef into your baking dish. Sprinkle with salt. I usually use about a tablespoon of “large grain” salt and half that of fine grain salt, but use however much you like. Some people don’t even use salt. I am not one of those people.

Knead your beef and salt together. Then, add the pork and knead into the beef so the whole thing becomes “berk” or “poef.”

Smash your mixture into the bottom of the pan so that the meat wad fills all the corners and is relatively flat.

Place in the oven. Cook for ~30 minutes or until the juices run clear out of the center. There will be a swimming pool of fat and juices around the meat. It will also shrink out of the corners.

When you take it out of the oven, use a knife to cut into pieces to make meatloaf bars. These are super-easy to travel with.

Let your meatloaf cool in its own fat. It’ll soak up some of it, which will make a richer and more filling eating experience later.

Chow down cold or hot.

Enjoy!

The bigger they are…

…the more they’re crumbling inside.

That’s my experience.

As I’ve climbed from institution to higher ed institution, I’ve noticed that the functionality of internal systems exists inversely to the fame of the school.

Perhaps it was that the very much not-prestigious little guy was willing to get in bed with Google, and thereby run internal emails and documentation on the Gmail/Google Docs platform.

Maybe it’s the ramshackle engine that could that’s figured out how to shoehorn and jimmy solutions and wrap its systems together with duct tape and bubble gum, because there’s no other way.

It’s the behemoth R1 that truly has no support. I’ve never felt less supported in my job. With systems, with people, even with my job description.

From the outside, it looks like these institutions have all the resources in the world. All the money. All the data. All the brightest minds at work.

It’s all lies.

What you really get is home-grown legacy systems from the 80s, and a bunch of baby boomers who have been camping on their jobs for the last three decades.

Try to move that boulder up the hill, bitch.

Enjoy the view as it rolls back down.

Looking for apartments is exhausting

…and not just because of all the logistical work.

Space is an important component to how we live our lives.

If you’ve ever doubted that, observe people navigating an empty lobby with stanchioned waiting lines. Even with no people to contend with, most will automatically conform to the designated spaces.

The people we share our space with also have an impact on how we live our lives.

For example, although my last living situation was in a house, I mostly confined myself to one room because of a volatile roommate.

The way in which our space is decorated also influences us.

Remember how motivated you’ve felt inside an awe-inspiring library.

So as I’m out looking for space in which to spend the next years of my life, be it a townhouse, an apartment, or some other arrangement, I’m also exploring different potential ways of living my life. Different identities, almost.

Extrapolating that amount of hypothetical data take a lot of mental work.

Certainly more than simply counting amenities, bedrooms, commute time, and rent before cross-referencing with the budget to make sure it fits within parameters.

(Although those things are important.)

Will this apartment encourage me to stay in, instead of going out to make friends? Will this townhouse help out with morning wakefulness due to the positioning of its bedroom windows? Am I ready for the responsibility of snow removal and yard work?

So much to consider.

And yet, apartment hunting is so much fun — specifically for this reason.

It’s time to try on all sorts of lives for size. To imagine yourself in different circumstances, different possibilities. To carve out some space for yourself that’s entirely focused on your future plans, and not hampered by the resources (or lack thereof) in your past.

So many futures, so little time.


I looked at one today and two more tomorrow…wish me luck!

Meandering goals

Five years ago, I was on a high-powered biologic drug called Remicade. Remicade is extremely effective at blocking TNF-alpha, part of the signalling mechanism that causes inflammation. It’s also extremely, extremely expensive. The only way I could afford it (even with really good health insurance) was through a subsidization program run by the big pharma company that makes it. It was also magic for my chronic illness.

I had a dream that someday, maybe I could stop taking Remicade.

I thought that I was crazy for dreaming that dream. Seriously, it was difficult for me to fathom a way of living and managing my disease that would create a future where Remicade was unnecessary. Still, I had a goal.

It was a soft goal, not a SMART goal. I didn’t keep it in mind every single day, and it didn’t drive every decision that I made. Yet the idea of being free provided the fuel to move forward with exploring different options to take care of my health.

My specific goal wasn’t to get off Remicade, but I did want to explore the effect that diet had on my health.

My specific goal wasn’t to get off Remicade, but I did research and align myself with doctors who would be receptive to that kind of change in my treatment plan.

My specific goal wasn’t to get off Remicade, but I did pursue alternate theories to why my disease exists in the first place…

…which led me to discovering and treating Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth…

…which led to me getting off Remicade.

Rather than setting myself up against a specific objective with a deadline (which would have stressed me out, thereby triggering my illness and nullifying any attempt to be free of drugs #Catch22), I chose the path of obliquity.

This was completely inadvertent on my part, but it worked.

I have some goals now, new ones. Goals that seem absolutely, crazily unachievable. Goals that I’m not quite ready to speak in public.

Sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever happen.

Then I look back at my journey off Remicade, and realize that I’ve done it before. I can do it again. I just need to make the direction of the goal a priority, and pursue it doggedly.

 

Image of the week: MAGAween edition

Getty won’t let me embed the good image from this series, but the concept is too good to pass by.

Embed from Getty Images

Skeleton. MAGA. HAT.

So simple, yet so effective. And so on-brand.

I love the MAGA, I love the bats, I love Melania’s deployment of a vaguely-military-style coatdress in a color that looks mostly good on her.

It’s a great photo.

And yet, I’m curious about the child dressed in all black. What is he supposed to be —  /pol/, maybe? Or anonymous?

The great mysteries of life.

A well-stocked pantry

Today we’re continuing my observations from The Perfectly Imperfect Home. This passage I like because it highlights Deborah Needleman’s quirky writing style AND it reveals the secrets of the Ina Gartens and Martha Stewarts of the world. I don’t aspire to be like either of those women materially, but I do appreciate the work ethic, organization, and sense of ease that they both exude.

When I visit a beautifully run home (usually belonging to a fancy decorator or a rich person), I am as fascinated by what’s hidden away as by what’s on display. A little snooping almost always reveals an orderly pantry with entertaining supplies lined up like patient soldiers waiting to serve. It’s not just the sheer volume of linens and vases and platters and the ready supplies of candles, tea lights, and votives that impress. Although they do. It’s how beautifully they’re organized. Here are a couple of secrets I’ve stolen: use a label maker to ID the front of each shelf with what goes where. (This is to keep the staff from mixing things up, but it works equally well when you are your staff.) And toss the broken, ripped, stained, and chipped, plus those things you never use but think you will someday. They are making it hard to find what you need, and therefore planning is that much more difficult.

If you take the time to arrange items neatly, press linens before you need them, and order supplies like candles in bulk, you will be rewarded with a wave of domestic satisfaction every time you see them.

Like the boy scout motto: be prepared.

But looking at this book has me convinced that keeping a good house (or home, even) requires putting energy into both the design and the upkeep that’s past baseline. Maybe not overachieving efforts — nothing in the book is about keeping a perfectly spotless home — but certainly enough effort that you push past the ordinary.

No effort results in an unorganized mess. Minimal work results in marginally dusty clutter. Normal work gets you a clean, tidy home. But that extra effort (“that extra half inch,” to quote Victoria Beckham) is what makes the difference from an ordinary home to, well, a perfectly imperfect one. It’s not the perfection, it’s the energy and thought and care that matter.

That’s what creates the glamour, sparkle, and satisfaction.

 

“Procrastination is symptomatic of a half lived life”

Funny that AJA Cortes posted a thread about procrastination tonight, because I’ve been putting off this post for hours because I don’t know what to write about.

At this point, even though next to nobody reads this blog, I feel that I should have polished presentations to give to you every day. This very rarely happens, but usually I can dream up a post about something that seems thoughtful and deliberate.

That’s always been a problem for me: not knowing what to write, so procrastinating, and instead of using all that procrastinated time to conceive and develop a good topic, I just wing it at the end.

Most of the time it works out okay for me, but sometimes it doesn’t.

When it’s just me, that’s totally fine. Shouting into the internet void with a blog, that’s okay. Not ideal, but okay.

The problem comes when people have expectations of me, or depend upon my performance in any way. Then it becomes much harder to put things off until the last minute. Other people don’t think or react that way, for one.

Or if you’re dealing with a lot of people, it’s impossible for the group to react quickly enough to matter. You can’t just wing it in the end.

Funny how procrastination ends where other people start.

 

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