It’s been a while since we checked in on Melania’s style. The fashion media refuses to cover her, so somebody’s gotta do it. Enter yours truly, an amateur style blogger.

I like style. I’m not always the best practitioner of it (I loves me some sweats), but I’m more stylish than the average cubicle-dweller. I’m interested in how style sends a rhetorical message, and how outward style reflects inward personality.

Anyway. Melania. Style. Specifically, coats.

Melania usually deploys a good coat.

This coat, however? I’m not so sure. The shape is okay, and the fur detail at the cuffs is FAMAZING, The bright pink is not her best color, and the nude pumps seem like an afterthought—like she didn’t know what other shoes to wear.

That said, her look is 10x more cohesive than the First Lady of Columbia’s, which is all over the place with blocky shapes that fight for visual attention.

Every time I see Melania in a traditionally “feminine” color like pink or light blue, I’m not convinced she’s presenting her best self.

Bold, on the other hand, is something she does well.

I love this outfit on her. Clean lines, very little texture, and bold accessories. Of course, the drama of the lighting in this pic helps to frame the effect.

Moving on, we have my favorite version of Melania: Military-inspired Melania.

Here, on board the USS George H.W. Bush, Melania pulls out the utilitarian accessories and aviator sunglasses. Leather gloves add a nice jolt of texture to this look without going tweedy like the pink coat above.

She looks, well, fierce. And not a bit out of place onboard.

I’m not convinced that the asymmetrical buttons on that coat are doing her any favors, but this is not the worst thing I’ve seen her wear. And the coat echoes traditional Navy uniforms, so it’s understandable.

As much as I love the idea of her wearing a beanie, this one is a little severe.